Random thoughts while waiting to go hiking with Reese Witherspoon:
• No game in the roasty
• Hope the
• Three weeks later, Odell Beckham Jr.'s oil pan is probably still a little sore from that amazing catch against the Cowboys.
• The U.S. soccer team should be coached by someone from America — maybe Landon Donovan.
• College football players should get lifetime medical coverage.
• Pat Haden should run the NCAA.
• Kobe should coach the Lakers. He does anyway.
• If offensive linemen get any thicker, they're going to start showing cleavage.
• The two most hopeful words in the sports lexicon — "incoming freshmen."
• Colin Cowherd is underused.
The Dodgers' trade spree seems more ego-driven than wise.
• You know it's December when teams are playing in the kind of icy squalls that sank the Edmund Fitzgerald.
• The Rose Bowl will feature the two best quarterbacks in college football. The
• Spectators are subjected to far too many timeouts — media and otherwise. To speed up football games, teams should be allowed one in the first half and two in the second.
• By 2017, there will be two pro football teams in L.A., with a new joint-use stadium going up. Where? Near Chinatown.
• Santa would make a great nose guard. And be best at stuffing the run.
• The most resonant holiday? Santa Anita opening Dec. 26.
• Everyone should ice skate at least once.
• It takes longer to master the violin than it does a slap shot.
• Saturday's Army-Navy football game, a sign the season is nearly over, always makes me a little sad.
• I'd rather watch 10 Hail Mary attempts than 100 home runs.
• In the last two minutes, onside kicks should have to travel only five yards.
• Getting to the Coliseum for games is horrendous, though still better than driving through Westwood on a typical Tuesday.
• Two wrongs don't make a right. But two rights always get you to the 405.
• Sources say Dodgers are shopping Lasorda. And to think of all they have invested in the kid.
Holiday gift suggestions
All I want for Christmas is world peace and all TV standoffs to end.
In lieu of that, sportscaster
For UCLA fans, consider a personalized brick outside the main entrance to the Rose Bowl. From $100; http://www.rosebowlbricks.com, or (855) ROSEBWL.
For the fan cave, consider a painting or photo of his or her favorite player. Just in: signed pieces commemorating Clayton Kershaw's no-hitter; http://www.theArtoftheGame.com.
For USC fans, check out a Tommy Bahama USC shirt — pricey but very cool at $104. Cardinal or gold nail polish makes a good stocking stuffer, at $9.50; uscbookstore.com.
For Angels fans, $99 buys 10 tickets to use all at once or to separate games, plus a replica jersey; http://www.angels.com/ticketplans.
Kings fans can have Bailey drop by the house for a party ($250), or visit your seat during a game ($125); Kings.nhl.com, or (213) 763-5475.
For outdoors fans, go "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed, on her journey along the Pacific Crest Trail; $15.95, Vintage Books.
For indoors fans, "It Won't Always Be This Great," the entertaining first novel by "Seinfeld" writer and sports scribe Peter "Yada Yada" Mehlman ($25, Bancroft Press).
Guys just hate asking for directions, but here's a note to the geniuses who run ESPN: Put Brent Musburger back on your A team. Or at least the B team.
College fans deserve better than the vanilla-pudding pairing of Chris Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit, who have been tapped to do the Oregon-Florida State game Jan. 1 at the Rose Bowl and the national championship Jan. 12.
Demoted before the season, Musburger has been barely visible on second-tier Southeastern Conference games. He was also passed over for the other playoff game, the Sugar Bowl on Jan. 1.
Maybe Musburger isn't universally loved, but he brings moxie and a sense of history to telecasts. He certainly would have challenged Herbstreit during the Florida State-Notre Dame telecast, when Herbstreit said during a replay: Jameis Winston "is not necessarily known as a terrific athlete but he does enough there...."
Gee, I always thought the 2013