How to Improve Soccer, According to Letterman

Early games in the World Cup soccer championships have drawn decent TV ratings, but David Letterman and his writers have come up with ways to make the sport even more exciting.

Among the suggestions he offered on CBS’ “Late Show With David Letterman” Thursday night:

* Let ‘em use their damn hands!

* Replace ball with round pinata filled with killer bees.

* Put one of them speedin’ buses on the field.

* Give one guy on each team a powerful jet pack.

* Three words: Naked penalty kicks.

* Make nets out of sexy black lingerie from Victoria’s Secret.

* Losing team executed on “Donahue.”