The Times’ NBA rankings

BEN BOLCH’S RANKINGS, COMMENTS THROUGH SATURDAY

LIFE IS ONE BIG EGG HUNT
1. CHICAGO (43-13) Joakim Noah high on another list: Bleacher Report’s 100 Ugliest People in Sports. (1)
2. OKLAHOMA CITY (40-15) Trendy pick to win it all needs to hold off Spurs to get top spot in West. (2)
3. MIAMI (39-15) Like Cruise in “Cocktail”: “Everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn’t end.” (3)
4. SAN ANTONIO (39-14) Spurs are up there in dog years but probably aren’t built to last in playoffs. (4)

PLENTY OF CHOCOLATE IN THEIR BASKETS
5. LAKERS (35-22) 7-footer Andrew Bynum could use some Miracle-Gro in the maturity department. (6)
6. INDIANA (34-22) File win over Oklahoma City as “One to remember,” if Thunder doesn’t flop in playoffs. (7)
7. CLIPPERS (33-22)+ Lob City is once again wiped out by Lakers’ ground forces. (9)
6. ORLANDO (33-23) Stan Van Gundy, Dwight Howard could use some intensive couples therapy. (5)
9. ATLANTA (34-23) Braves won’t siphon fans, because city hardly supports either franchise. (8)
10. MEMPHIS (32-23) Grizzlies part of playoff scrum packed tighter than airline passengers in economy. (10)
11. BOSTON (31-24) Maybe Big Three will make another appearance at Staples Center after all. (12)
12. DALLAS (31-26) Defending champions may not get break-even odds to get past first round. (11)

EASY TO PASSOVER IN THE STANDINGS
13. DENVER (30-25)+ Fourth quarter is Andre Miller time (13 points) in victory over Suns. (14)
14. HOUSTON (30-25) Rockets should sell “How to Neutralize Andrew Bynum for Dummies.” (15)
15. PHILADELPHIA (29-26) Andre Iguodala not in running for teammate of year after bashing Lou Williams’ defense. (13)
16. UTAH (29-27) Win over Warriors is chicken noodle soup for ailing Paul Millsap, C.J. Miles. (16)
17. PHOENIX (29-27) Steve Nash isn’t about to go away; apparently neither are Suns’ playoffs chances. (18)
18. NEW YORK (28-27) Best hope: Grab No. 8 spot, hope for lockout-shortened 1999 playoffs repeat. (17)
19. MILWAUKEE (28-28) Luc Richard Mbah a Moute can bewedding consultant if hoops career falters. (20)
20. PORTLAND (27-30) Kaleb Canales, Mike Brown prove video coordinators can make it in NBA. (21)
21. MINNESOTA (25-32) Fantasy league players who have Kevin Love dispute that he has nothing left to play for. (19)

TITLE CHANCES AS REAL AS EASTER BUNNY
22. GOLDEN STATE (21-33)+ Terrible after trading Monta Ellis, Warriors send their regrets on a nightly basis. (22)
23. DETROIT (21-34) Prince Fielder making so much money he should have to help Pistons too. (24)
24. TORONTO (20-36) Raptors have enough wins for NCAA field, but couldn’t beat Lehigh. (26)
25. SACRAMENTO (19-36)+ League charges DeMarcus Cousins $25,000 for baby-sitting Blake Griffin. (25)
26. CLEVELAND (18-35) On the bright side, maybe Cavaliers can use season as a massive tax write-off. (23)
27. NEW JERSEY (20-37) L.A. fans embrace Kris Humphries with same warmth they reserve for Frank McCourt. (27)
28. NEW ORLEANS (15-41) Chamber of Commerce expunges Hornets from brochures. (28)
29. WASHINGTON (12-44) Washington Nationals might win more games in a month than Wizards in a season. (29)

NEEDS TO SPEND MORE TIME IN CONFESSIONAL
30. CHARLOTTE (7-47) Season was over for Bobcats long before it was for Duke or UNC. (30)