THE TIMES’ RANKINGS

Chris Dufresne’s college football rankings and comments:

*--* Rank Team (Rec.) Comment 1 MIAMI (5-0) Quick, name the last team to beat Miami: Answer: University of Neuheisel 2 TEXAS (5-0) Austin taxpayer Willie Nelson says it’s “crazy” to think Texas will lose again to Oklahoma 3 OKLAHOMA (5-0) Rankman recalls time when the Sooners didn’t need trick plays to beat Missouri 4 VIRGINIA TECH (5-0) Beamer falls to sleep by counting all the blocked kicks his program has produced 5 GEORGIA (5-0) How’s this: Rankman doesn’t think Georgia is “man enough” to beat Tennessee 6 OREGON (5-0) Jealousy over team’s success described in literature as “Eugene Envy.” 7 OHIO STATE (6-0) Tailback Clarett so afraid to fly he says he’ll start hitching rides with John Madden 8 NOTRE DAME (5-0) Only concern with school’s “Sea of Green” campaign is an outbreak of algae 9 FLORIDA STATE (5-1) If things don’t improve fast, Bowden may coach only 10 more years 10 TENNESSEE (4-1) Fulmer cleans up financially after working six-overtime shift against Arkansas 11 WASH. STATE (5-1) Close to reopening Gesser-for-Heisman campaign headquarters and feed store 12 MICHIGAN (4-1) Word is Lloyd Carr spent bye week seeing if could crack a smile in front of the mirror 13 IOWA STATE (5-1) Why do we get the feeling this is a hot-air balloon ready to run out of helium? 14 FLORIDA (4-2) Probably a bad time for Zook to mention that Steve Spurrier also has two losses 15 NC STATE (6-0) Rankman suggests nickname change from Wolfpack to the “Paper Tigers.” 16 AIR FORCE (5-0) School assures Notre Dame there is plenty of “hanger space” for Oct. 19 visit 17 IOWA (5-1) Yep, this appears to be the right year to miss Ohio State on the schedule 18 WASHINGTON (3-2 ) Rankman tells NCAA committee the school’s poll drop was “an inadvertent bump.” 19 KANSAS STATE (4-1) School heads back to the Plains State after Colorado loss looking rather plain 20 LOUISIANA ST. (4-1) Unlike Kentucky, coaches hope to get out of Gainesville with a victory and their wallets 21 PENN STATE (4-1) After Wisconsin win, Paterno says “Cheese” as photographer snaps postgame photo 22 USC (3-2) Carroll has brought enthusiasm, energy, hope and 9-8 record to program since hired 23 UCLA (4-1) Toledo wonders why his 11-5 mark over same period has his head on chopping block 24 MISSISSIPPI (4-1) Eli calls Peyton and asks what the big deal is about beating Florida 25 CALIFORNIA (4-2) Local hippies credit team’s remarkable turnaround to Tedford’s “left-wing” offense

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