Dorothea (Granny) Heitz thinks college students...

Dorothea (Granny) Heitz thinks college students should have fun. She did. When she returned to college 20 years ago, she earned not only a degree in sociology but also a nickname and a lasting involvement. At 69 she is a professional parliamentarian with a calendar crowded with meetings and speaking engagements. I went to the University of Montana in the ‘30s. I was a Depression kid. And I didn’t finish. When my last child got married, I thought, why don’t you go back to school? So I called California State University at Northridge and went back after 31 years of being a dropout.

I was a straight old lady from my corner here in Woodland Hills, and going back to school with the youngsters of the ‘60s was a whole new ball game for me. It changed my whole life, because I have one foot in my generation and one foot in their generation.

I was minding my own business in the fall, and there was a young cheerleader named Tim Ashlock in the cafeteria line with me. I’m a polite person, so I said, “How are you, Tim?” And he said, “I have laryngitis and they’re having a football rally at noon and I don’t know quite how I’m going to lead yells.” “Well,” I said, “that’s easy done. Go through the actions and let somebody else be your voice.” And I got my lunch and went to my table.

In a short time I’m surrounded by a bunch of young college fellows with Tim in the middle. “We’ve decided you’re going to be the voice,” he said. And I said, “My land! I can’t do that! I’m a grandmother!” They said, “Yeah, Granny, you’re the one who’s going to do it.” I did the words for Tim, and he went through the actions, and everybody called me Granny and they liked that old lady. And, you know, that name stuck. My friends thought it was terrible that I let the kids call me Granny because I was in my early ‘50s. But the name was done with such love.

As long as I had the name I played the game. I actually learned to lead cheers, and I traveled with the teams. I wasn’t really the mascot, but I was one of the spirit leaders. I was the fold-out girl in their annual in 1968.

I founded the Granny Girls. They were a spirit and service group at the university. We used to perform at the games. I had about 50 of them every semester. I designed the costumes. It was a big deal to be a Granny Girl.

The sororities and fraternities were marvelous to me. The whole school was. I was sometimes invited to six parties on a Friday night, and, if the fraternities invited me, I went to every one. You know to this day I can rock out with the best of ‘em.

When I was getting ready to graduate, the Sigma Chis gave me a formal bid as a little sister. I accepted. I helped them with all kinds of things.

About five years later when it was time to choose their sweetheart they chose two. One was a marvelous beautiful girl, and one was me. They call me their “Eternal Sweetheart,” which sounds like I died and went to heaven.

I’m an organizer. I started in grade school and high school. Interaction with other people, learning to get along with people who are not like you, that’s how you learn and grow. I’m a parliamentarian because I was the world’s greatest joiner and I had to know how to do things better. So I started studying parliamentary law and now I teach it. It’s changed my life.

I’m known as the lady of the lids. I teach with parliamentary hats. I have one with great big playing cards on it, that’s my rules hat. You have to know the rules to play the game. Another hat has feathers. That’s for feather-headed members who don’t believe in any rules. I have a Bo Derek hat. I’m the Bo Derek of the Geritol set. Bo and I together make 11.

And then I have a balloon hat that I always use, and that’s to remember to give a little and be flexible like a balloon. Maybe the world would be a better place if we all were more flexible.