Driving Them Up the Wall

There is a foolproof way to deal with tailgaters.

Here is the picture. You are cruising along the freeway at 60 (OK, officer, 55). Suddenly, your rear-view mirrors are full of a car planted five feet from your rear bumper.

Now maybe some traffic incident in which the driver of that car had no control brought this about. Give him one minute to retreat. No, 30 seconds.

Once you have certified this tailgater as an airhead, simply slow down, gradually. Above all you don’t want him plowing into your rear end. Little by little you release your accelerator until you may be moving only 30 miles an hour, or even 20.

If there is plenty of space around you, the idiot will soon pull out and pass you, honking his horn and making ugly faces and obscene gestures at you. The danger is past, and you will have a warm feeling of self-satisfaction for several miles.

If there is no space around you, you finally slow down to a speed that will minimize the chances of a serious accident, and you will still have the warm feeling.

If you are determined to reach your destination without losing 30 seconds, this solution is not for you.

EMERY R. WALKER JR.

Claremont