Fashion magazines extol that "thin is in." The exercise gurus of the world preach that "guys don't make passes at girls with fat -----," and ads for plastic surgeons boast that they can suck out the curves and give you a lean and mean look in hours.
As a result, thousands--no, millions--of American women spend untold hours counting calories, pounding their buns and thighs and even going under a surgeon's knife to get that desirable anorexic look.
While we're starving ourselves and enduring physical pain and the humiliation of not having a sexy body, along comes this Fatty Ferguson--as the media refer to her--who, while feeding her face with chocolates at a horse race, meets a prince who falls in love with her.
To add insult to injury, Prince Andrew (who's quite dashing) utters a blasphemy. The prince, it seems, prefers Fergie's precious poundage! Not only that, the prince marries Fatty Fergie!
What is this? Has the world gone mad? Quick, someone call Jane Fonda. This incident, it is rumored, has caused such a major shock wave throughout svelte-conscious Southern California that world exercise leaders are clandestinely meeting at a juice bar in Encino to discuss the motivation behind the statement.
In the meantime, while the fashionably thin ponder this international incident, I think that there is a moral to this story--commoners may not make passes at girls with chubby buns, but princes DO!
So the next time a commoner makes a derogatory remark about your curves, think about Fatty Ferguson and then give him the royal kiss-off.
Long live Prince Andrew.