2 LAMEBRAINS ON THE LOOSE AT GAYLOR

The title characters in “Stitch and Yubie,” a one-act at Cassandra Gaylor Theatre, are two guys who have nothing and no one--except each other. This sentimental situation would be more heartwarming--clearly the intended response--if Stitch and Yubie weren’t quite so dopey. As it is, their continued partnership seems likely to double their troubles. It’s as if they’re competing to play Lennie in “Of Mice and Men.”

According to Bruce Speas’ script, Stitch is the crazier of the two. It’s Stitch who has come up with a lamebrained scheme to rob a doughnut shop in order to get to Las Vegas, where he and Yubie will buy a casino--yes, buy a casino.

Three years of drifting around America should have given these two enough smarts to know how ludicrous this idea is--and Yubie has his doubts. Yet, under John Kostmayer’s direction, Jack Kehler’s Yubie is even more of a nitwit than Robert S. Woods’ Stitch.

When Yubie’s agitated, his cheeks inflate and then pop, like balloons, and he lurches around the room like an orangutan just before feeding time. By contrast, Stitch seems cool and collected. Kehler’s histrionics are so attention-getting that maybe Kostmayer figured we wouldn’t notice how predictable the play is. But the ending brings it all back.

Performances are at 6543 Santa Monica Blvd., Wednesdays through Saturdays at 8:30 p.m., through Oct. 31; (213) 462-7644).

‘CUBISTIQUE’

In Tom Cone’s “Cubistique”--another one-act, same-sex duet--a governess and her former ward reunite over tea at the older woman’s Paris apartment. Instantly, it’s clear that the governess still wants to play the teacher, while the ward--now grown--wants to declare her independence. What’s not so clear are all of the variations on this theme that make up the rest of the play.

The women discuss incidents from their past without letting us in on what they’re talking about. For example, the mention of creme de cacao seems to raise hackles; I never understood why. Should we expect a certain fragmentation of meaning in a play titled “Cubistique”? Maybe, but not every cubist artist was a Picasso. “Cubistique” becomes more confusing and less rewarding as it goes along.

The actresses, Lee Arnone and Bridget Hoffman, make a picturesque couple. They ably use their most prominent features--Arnone’s mouth and Hoffman’s eyes--as accent marks; Angie West designed the makeup.

The environment surrounding the play is more evocative than the text: Eleanor Hunt’s ‘20s costumes; J. Cripple Joslyn’s lighting of Coleman Moss’s salon; the moody music of pianist Robert B. Mitchell and “music designer” Ron Gorow; a maid (Christine Coleman) who serves sparkling water, cheese and crackers to the audience and sings the theme from “Last Tango in Paris.” Judy Kerr directed.

Performances are in Theatre/Theater’s tiny Backstage, at 1713 N. Cahuenga Blvd., Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m., Sundays at 5 and 8 p.m.; (213) 850-6941).

‘MARATHON L.A./SERIES E’

An E ticket used to get you into the best rides at Disneyland. An E ticket at Ensemble Studio Theatre’s Marathon/L.A. admits you to Robert Schenkkan’s “The Survivalist” and Bruce Feld’s “Listen to the Duchess.” Not even the peso has been so devalued.

Schenkkan’s play is a lecture about survivalism, presented as an introduction and sales pitch for a longer seminar on the subject. The speaker is well-dressed and well-spoken, but we learn nothing about his personal history. Perhaps Schenkkan offers a few subtextual hints when he plays the role himself, but understudy Michael Keys Hall (and director Scott Reiniger) did not, at the performance I saw.

The script is no help in this department. Until the last sentence, the playwright hides his attitude to the material so well that the play functions more as a piece of actual proselytism than as a piece of theater. Despite the title, the play is about survivalism rather than the survivalist.

At least it’s about something, which is more than you can say for “Listen to the Duchess.” This scene between a pitiful country girl (Janice Lynde) and her manipulative, urban brother-in-law (Lyndon Thompson) plays like a losing entry in an imitate-Tennessee-Williams contest.

Performances are at 1089 N. Oxford Ave., Thursdays through Saturdays at 8 p.m., Sundays at 7 p.m., through Sept. 28; (213) 466-2916).