Hey, No Strings! as Tijuana Sewage Flows

All the pomp and circumstance was not as it appeared, it seems, when President Miguel de la Madrid of Mexico dedicated a $20-million sewage-treatment plant in Tijuana last week.

The city put on its best colors for the president; there was security everywhere, and De la Madrid made his entrance via a fleet of helicopters.

So there he stood, in front of a small box topped by a bunch of buttons. Cameras were focused, everyone was primed and the president touched one of them. Snap, snap, snap and whir went the cameras and, sure enough, the sewage began to flow into the treatment ponds.

Technology at work. A little bit of Hollywood, too.

A cynical photographer thought he smelled a rat, or something. So he worked his way up to the podium to see where the wires for the button box went. Turned out there weren’t any wires. Just a metal box with some green and red buttons, connected to . . . absolutely nothing.

Bidding for Bachelors

The March of Dimes is putting some fun into fund-raising by auctioning off 21 of San Diego’s most eligible bachelors who have put together their own personally designed date packages.

The “Bid for Bachelors” will be held Feb. 12 at the Sheraton Harbor Island East ($20 in advance). Consider some of the dates--and escorts--on the auction block:

- Fly first class with Walt Borland, president of Wendy’s of San Diego, to San Francisco. You’ll lunch at Domaine Chandon in the Napa Valley, tour the wine country from a hot-air balloon, enjoy sunset cocktails, dine back in The City (as the locals call San Fran) and stay the night at the Stanford Court Hotel.

- With real estate broker Jeff Platt you’ll ride by limo to Los Angeles for dinner at Perino’s, then head to the Music Center and cap the evening with dessert and dancing at the Bonaventure Hotel.

- Or you and your friend can double-date with Don Bringle and George Dom, both Navy lieutenant commanders and Miramar aviators, who will take you sailing aboard a 40-footer after brunch at the Top of the Cove.

Last year’s top date fetched $900, which included a shopping tour along Rodeo Drive before taking in “Cats.”

Helene McKay, coordinator of the affair, suggests that the evening may draw more men than just the 21 official bachelors up for bid: “Last year, there were hundreds more women there than men, and I think the word got out that when the evening was over, there were still a few women looking for dates.”

Sailsman Sells

Meet Dennis Conner, traveling salesman.

Our Stars & Stripes skipper is making full use of the America’s Cup hoopla with newspaper ads drawing readers’ attention to his interior-decorating business on Hancock Street in San Diego.

The folks manning the store have announced a “Celebration Sail” because their boss is “setting standards in the drapery and flooring business.”

Have Tools, Will Travel

Then there’s Jimmy on the Spot mobile automotive repair service. Nothing too pretentious here, friends. Just good ol’ Jimmy Carlson, who grew up on a farm in Nebraska and remembers “throwing my tools in the back of a pickup and running down to the next farm to fix a tractor.”

That, coupled with memories of doctors who make house calls, got Carlson into the business of making house calls to fix sick cars. He has been doing it in San Diego since 1976, and today he has a fleet of 12 repair trucks and repairmen who’ll head out to your home--or business--to work on your car.

Minimum charge is $48.50, which will get the fella to your front door and maybe a quick fix, like a jump-start. If it’s something more complicated, you’ll get a revised estimate.

His crew can fix your clutch, adjust your brakes or give you a valve job or a tune-up--right there in your driveway, or in the parking garage at work, he said.

Why not just drive your clunker to the local service station or repair garage?

“Convenience, or because a lot of people have been told by their friendly service station attendant that they need to do this or that to their car to keep it running, and they keep putting it off until, one day, the car just breaks down in their driveway. Then they call us,” Carlson said.

Tootsie’s on a Roll

A year ago, you may recall, we wrote about Rich Wise throwing a puppy shower for his new beagle, Tootsie. Yeah, the dog that was registered for gifts at a couple of pet stores. There was kibble casserole, pupsi-cola and pupcorn at the party.

Well, guess who’s a year old on Saturday?

But it won’t be a surprise birthday party; Tootsie has been fitted for a gown by Canine Klein, said Wise, from Bergdog Goodman’s. This is a very pruppy dog, you see.

There’ll be Tootsie rolls and Tootsie pops for party favors; music from “Lady and the Tramp,” Pound Puppies videos and an ice carving in the shape of a fire hydrant.

It’s BYO Bone.