13 Attempts Since Christmas Leave Town Reeling : School Grapples With Teen-Age Suicide

The principal of Wilton High School talks quietly about how his school is grappling with a flurry of attempted suicides, but he says the toughest part is not knowing when it’s safe to back away.

“I wait for the call to come every weekend,” said Donald Holt. “I worry about it. So far, so good.”

Since Christmas, at least 13 students from different grades, families and with different academic skills have tried to kill themselves. The school profiled each of the students and found no significant similarities.

Disputes ‘Model’ Role

Publicity has turned a spotlight on Wilton High, and it has been called a model for other communities in combatting teen suicide. Holt doesn’t believe the school is a model.

“We’re just doing things you have to do,” said Dr. Martin Rosmarin, a Wilton High School psychologist.

Holt won’t say how many attempts there were this year compared to previous years because he says people shouldn’t focus on numbers. He admits that 13 is a “ballpark figure,” and he worries about others that may not have been reported.

“Why the increase? I don’t know,” said Holt, who looked weary from the pressure of recent weeks. “Why those families who are all in the same town in the same high school? The issues are unique to each family. They all did it for a different reason.”

Noticed in February

Holt said the problem was noticed in February when school guidance counselors, psychologists and social workers met to talk and realized that they knew of more students than usual who had attempted suicide.

“It used to be that we talked about the same kids, but suddenly we discovered we had a lot of different kids,” Holt said.

The group profiled the troubled students but found no answers. Three students knew each other, but nothing else indicated a common problem.

Along with contacting the parents and helping them arrange to get family counseling, the school set up the “Watch Team.” Each school official was assigned a troubled student to watch. The group met and kept in touch with the parents.

Two days after the Watch Team was formed, a student who had not been identified as troubled tried to kill himself. The Watch Team took up his case too.

In the weeks since then, no other attempts have been reported. Holt doesn’t know why, and he is reluctant to believe the problem is diminishing.

The school has written to all parents about the problem, sponsored a program on suicide with outside experts and planned a cable television program.

‘Community Issue’

“The theme we’re trying to develop is this is a community issue, not just a school issue,” Holt said. “The Wilton life style is not uncharacteristic of people today. Both parents work, they’re not home a lot. What are these students doing between 2:30 when they leave school and 7 p.m.?”

The scariest part, he said, is that the signs of a troubled teen are much like those of a normal adolescent. They are lonely, filled with self-doubt and worry about college, exams, peers and parents.

“We have to try to tell them that (suicide) is a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” Rosmarin said. “If you can buy time with these kids, maybe you can convince them that it does make a difference whether they’re here or not.”

The publicity at Wilton, he said, makes it acceptable for students to talk about their feelings. But it also may glamorize suicide. They think, “he really had the guts to try it,” Rosmarin said.

One of the saddest signs of a troubled teen is when he or she tries to form a “minifamily” among friends.

“Some kids feel a great amount of pressure academically, others don’t feel connected to anything. They start to look to each other for a lot more than just friendship.”