MOVIE REVIEW : ‘ALLNIGHTER’ A FINE PLACE TO SNOOZE

Remember those sweet-souled beach-blanket movies from the ‘60s, where the guys slept on their surfboards and the dolls had a different bikini for each day of the week? If you slipped one of those old films into a time-machine and set the clock for 1987, the result would be “The Allnighter” (citywide), a lame sex comedy that’s loaded with hip teen lingo but utterly lacking in any irreverence or insight.

The story itself is as old as--well, Annette Funicello. It’s graduation eve at Pacifa College, where a trio of exuberant co-eds are gearing up for the school’s last-gasp beer-blast. Comfortably situated in a funky beach house, the girls have one thing on their mind--boys. Molly (Susanna Hoffs), the school’s dreamy valedictorian, broods about lost chances at romance. Val (Dedee Pfeiffer) is sizing up her yuppie fiance while Gina (Joan Cusack) is hastily completing her school project, a video account of their last days on campus.

There are plenty of guys around, most notably the girls’ pals C. J. and Killer, a pair of spacey surf dudes with a keen eye for babes and “major” waves. While C. J. (John Terlesky) apparently has a budding interest in Molly, she’s more enchanted by an ex-rock star who’s visiting his old stomping grounds. Molly’s fantasy crush leads to a series of unlikely misadventures involving a bevy of high-rise prostitutes and a brief visit to the local jail.

Unfortunately, Tamar Simon Hoffs (who co-wrote and directed the film) seems to have confused character development with costume design. Her film has plenty of snazzy, Melrose Avenue fizz, but it’s woefully short on fresh ideas. (The real high point of the film is its eye-catching surfing footage.)

In fact, it’s a major embarrassment to see a woman film maker presiding over a movie with such a flirty, boy-toy sensibility. Molly portrays the class valedictorian, but you never see her exhibit a shred of brain power during the film. The girls’ lives are ruled by a languid desire for the perfect guy. Aside from Gina the video-junkie, none of the girls has any real career dreams or aspirations, which robs their characters of a much-needed burst of passion or vulnerability.

As Molly, rock star Susanna Hoffs (of the Bangles) is just as believable as her more experienced actress companions. It’s her character we have trouble with. Judging from her fondness for frugging in front of her bedroom mirror, Molly seems best suited for a career as an exotic dancer. Joan Cusack has a few nice comic moments; she has a flair for campy quips that gives her the bawdy air of a new-wave version of Rosalind Russell. Otherwise, “The Allnighter” (rated PG-13 for occasional nudity) is a total snooze, a failed beach-bunny comedy that misses the perfect wave--by a mile.