‘Some singles don’t know how to hunt. I teach marksmanship.’

While other dating services rely on video technology, Jim Soules fancies himself an old-fashioned matchmaker for upscale, intelligent San Diego singles. Soules, 59, has been pairing San Diego singles since 1969, using his own life experiences as a basis for his advice. Widowed at the age of 17 and remarried four times since then, Soules has worked as an auto mechanic, secretary, custodian, teacher, as well as an assistant dean at Palomar College in North County. Wanting to get away from the paper-pushing of administrative work, he decided to establish his own dating service because he was already unofficially helping to match students who looked like they would be good together. Though he doesn’t keep an exact count, Soules said he has instigated several hundred marriages in the past 18 years. He fields an average of 20 calls a week, from which he handpicks only one or two new clients. They range in age from 22 to 71, and pay a one-time fee of $500 to $1,000, for which they get names of potential mates based on personal counseling. He was interviewed by Times staff writer Kathie Bozanich and photographed by Times photographer Sandra Tatum.

I meet the most fascinating people in the world in this office. I am constantly creating images and scenarios in my head, and lo and behold, things happen.

When I want to get two people together, I write out a referral slip. I put both their names and both their phone numbers on it, and mail them out. He calls her and they meet in a neutral place, because they’re not allowed to go to each other’s homes. He knows absolutely nothing about her, nor she anything about him. That’s part of my romantic scenario, because I think a little mystery goes miles and miles.

I say, “If you like one another, let each other know, and I won’t hear from you again. If it doesn’t work out, be a perfect lady and a perfect gentleman.” I ask that they write me a critique of their experience, telling me what they liked and didn’t like. I won’t give them another date until they do. You’ve got to know why it didn’t work out to learn how it can work out the next time.

I think every person you meet is, in a sense, a gold mine. You never know what impact one person will have on you. That person may have spent his whole life or her whole life for that moment in time when fate brings you together.

I do a lot of coaching behind the scenes. The hunt is exciting as hell, but there are people who don’t know how to hunt, so I teach them marksmanship. I coach people and I tell them some strategies they need to employ, but I never impose on people.

I’m here as a businessman. There are certain people I can help and there are certain people I choose not to. The people I know I can’t service, my heart goes out to them. I had an older gentleman call me recently and he could hardly keep the conversation going. He wanted to meet someone very young, that whole bit. I said, “You know, I think I have the answer for you. There’s an escort service in this town.”

I think this town probably has more lonely people in it than any one place in the world. They’re desperately searching, and it’s one thing to search when you know what you’re looking for and it’s another thing to search and not know what you’re looking for. Because of the popularity of this area, it attracts a lot of people from all over who don’t know what they’re looking for. They have no roots, no direction, and a poverty of emotion.

You can see the people that are going to do it wrong, the people who are never going to have a meaningful relationship. You can see the people who are going to suffer tremendous hardships.

Conversely, you can see the people who have a sense of optimism, who come from a family base of stability. They have a sense of identity, they have traditions that keep them going through the hard times.