I’m surprised at myself. I don’t know...

I’m surprised at myself. I don’t know what’s happened. . . . I really was an introvert.

For several months after the death of her husband Sarah Hester of Van Nuys would dress up and go to the door, but she couldn’t walk through it to meet people outside. She finally made it to the Bernardi Multipurpose Center for Senior Citizens, where she underwent a surprising and rewarding transition.

I’m an American of Mexican and Spanish descent. My mother was half Irish. I come from a family of 19. I’m number 17. Only 13 lived, but we were a happy family. Every night we had a floor show. We danced, we sang, we played the piano. My parents were just laughing all the time. There was a lot of love in our family.

I was married for 42 years, and then I lost my husband in 1982. Yesterday would have been six years. I still miss him.

My husband was an alcoholic. Wonderful person. My whole family loved him. They knew he was an alcoholic. He would just come home and go to sleep and that was it. He’d wake up and his sweet little wife was up heating his meal, for 42 years. He quit for 12 years, and then a friend started him drinking. When he passed away he was still drinking.

We couldn’t go out because I didn’t drive. If you visit friends, the first thing they do is offer you a drink, and I knew Jim wouldn’t stop at one and I wouldn’t be able to drive home. So we just stayed home. But I still went out for PTA, Boy Scouting and Cub Scouting. My two sons, Jim and Bill, kept me going. I think that’s what saved my sanity.

My blood pressure used to be 185 over 90 when my husband was alive. It’s terrible to say, but after he passed away it went down to 145 over 75.

I’ve always been a very serious person, timid, bashful, very low self-esteem. My sons always tried to snap me out of it. I changed a lot after my husband passed away. I always wanted to do things, but I never did anything. So finally I joined the Bernardi Center, and I went into a folk dancing class. My friend Sophia and about two women and one man started a little group, and we danced throughout the Valley at convalescent homes. I lip-synched “Shady Lady From Seville” with Julie Andrews, and I was dressed in a Spanish costume. I did my own choreography.

I’m 70 years old, and honest to goodness I don’t act 70. I think I act 33. We’re a nice little group, and we act so crazy. It’s just incredible. I see some younger people there, and I’m more active than they are. I don’t get tired. I tell them all, “It’s not the vitamins, it’s good genes.” My eldest brother is about 95. He still does yoga. He has a very nice body for his age.

I’m surprised at myself. I don’t know what’s happened. But I have two wonderful sons. I think they’ve helped me to come out of my shell, because I really was an introvert.

The folk dancing started me off, and then I became involved with the Alzheimer’s group at the center. I started as a volunteer in 1984. But since July I’ve been an employee there. I love the work.

Some of them have been artists, teachers, sheet metal workers, and they’re all in different stages of Alzheimer’s. They react to love and affection. You have to care. That’s the main thing. In the morning when they first come in some of us give them a hug and a kiss and they just look at you and they’re so happy. You have to be patient.

I met Sophia one year after my husband died in ’82. She is a very good friend. In fact, a lot of people are always asking us if we’re sisters. Her husband died in ’83 of bone cancer, the same thing. It seems as if that drew us together, and we’ve been very good friends since then because we’ve compared notes. They both suffered the same way. We went through the same thing. It’s a horrible death, bone cancer.

Things changed so much after he died. I still miss him. But he’d be surprised, believe me. He would say, “Is this Sarah?” I think my sons are very surprised too. Every once in a while they’ll tell me, “Mom, we’re proud of you,” and that makes me feel so good.