NBA PLAYOFFS: LAKERS vs. JAZZ : Lakers Leave ‘Em Smiling in 110-91 Rout of the Jazz

Instead of saving his best material for after the game, which became a lost cause somewhere between the first and second commercial breaks on Sunday, Utah Coach Frank Layden ought to consider making his shtick a warm-up act. Not only might Layden loosen up the Lakers, who applied a record-setting defensive stranglehold on the Jazz in a 24-8 first quarter, he might relax his own players, who reacted to their first Forum playoff appearance as if they’d never seen Jack Nicholson before.

At least the Jazz remembered to stand at attention before the anthem, because they seemed to forget everything else at the start of what was to become a very long afternoon for Utah, 110-91 losers to the Lakers in the first game of their best-of-seven Western Conference semifinal playoff series. Game 2 is scheduled for Tuesday night at the Forum.

Layden gave it his best Jackie Mason impression in the postgame press conference, but he could have done without the first-quarter slapstick that saw the Jazz score just four baskets in the first dozen minutes, setting a playoff record for fewest points in an opening quarter. What was Layden thinking when he looked up at the scoreboard and saw a single digit under Utah’s name?

“After I slashed my wrists?” he asked. “My greatest fear, the one that has a coach waking up in the middle of the night screaming, is that we wouldn’t score at all.

“The Dodgers had more runs (12) than we had points. That’s scary.”

Layden’s biggest fear is that it may not get any better for the Jazz, who are now 2-31 lifetime in the Forum and have lost 12 straight here.

“I would like to tell you as a coach, and be emotional and say, ‘Yeah, we got a chance,’ ” Layden said, “but then ask me, ‘Would you bet on it?’ and I’d say, ‘Bull . . . ‘ “

Of course, what would have been the odds that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar would be launching three-pointers before the Jazz would score their third basket of the game? Abdul-Jabbar shot an airball (“I hope we can forget about it,” he said), which would have fit right in with the Utah offense.

That’s the way Jazz guard John Stockton opened the game--he made 1 of his first 8 shots, whereas Karl Malone went 1 for 9 in the first half--and it didn’t get much better until the Lakers had opened a 30-point lead two minutes into the third quarter, 65-35.

The Jazz had to send in a substitute, Thurl Bailey, before scoring their first basket of the game, a 6-foot jumper by Bailey from the baseline at 7:58 of the first quarter. Bob Hansen followed a miss by Malone at 7:15, Mark Eaton tossed in a bank shot at 2:57, and Bailey hit an 18-footer with 31 seconds to go. That was it for the quarter for the Jazz, who were outscored, 10-8, by James Worthy.

“All that we were thinking about in the first half was that it couldn’t get any worse,” said Malone, a Mailman gone AWOL until the third quarter, when he scored 17 of his game-high 29 points.

And it didn’t, probably because the Laker defense and rebounding (they outboarded the Jazz, 43-27, with Abdul-Jabbar grabbing a game-high 10) couldn’t get much better. The Lakers, who had swept San Antonio three straight in the first round, had three days to get ready for the Jazz, who didn’t eliminate Portland until Friday night. By the time Sunday rolled around, the Lakers were lying in wait for the Jazz like so many pungi sticks.

“All five guys were really moving, denying, getting up on the ball and pressuring,” said Magic Johnson, alluding to the Laker vise that held the Jazz to 21% shooting (4 of 19) in the first quarter, 31.7% in the half (13 of 41) and 45.2% for the game (38 of 84). “All five guys were playing together.”

The Lakers threw the most pressure at Stockton, who this season had more assists than Magic Johnson but could have done without the constant chaperoning of Byron Scott.

“The more film we looked at, the more we noticed that every time they rebounded, they were throwing the outlet pass to Stockton at half-court, and he’d throw it to Malone for a dunk,” Scott said. “We tried to make him come back for the ball, then tried to contain him.

“We pretty much had our way and did whatever we wanted to do, and we disrupted them.”

Scott was “not a happy camper” after the San Antonio series, according to his business manager, because his playing time had been cut. Sunday, he scored 18 points in 33 minutes, doubling his point production of each of the previous two games. Worthy led the Lakers with 23 points, while Magic Johnson had 19 and Abdul-Jabbar 16. The Lakers, who shot 46% in five meetings against the Jazz in the regular season, shot 53.8% Sunday.

Scott downplayed the comments by his manager, Brian McInerney, but acknowledged that he had met with Riley.

“It was out of my system before that (San Antonio) series was over,” Scott said of any unhappiness he may have been feeling. “Basically what I told him (McInerney) is to keep it down, even if it was his opinion, to keep it to himself. But it is a free country.”

No one was happier to exercise his First Amendment rights than Layden, who found a way to work in football coaches, the Soviets, NBA Commissioner David Stern and the referees into his postgame commentary.

What could the Jazz do differently to prepare for Game 2?

“I hope we can make the series more competitive, but I’m not sure we can,” Layden said. “It’s not like football. I worry about football coaches. They have 22 of them and a week to prepare. It’s like they’re invading France or something. Our biggest problem is where we’re going to eat tonight.

” . . . I don’t think we can beat the Lakers. If we do that, I ought to be beatified. You Jews in the room, that means sainthood. That goes for you Arabs, too.”

Layden turned to Laker publicist Josh Rosenfeld after saying he wouldn’t bet on Utah’s chances.

“Josh, don’t mention that to Stern--betting,” Layden said. “You saw those guys refereeing today--were they worth ten thousand bucks?”

That was a reference to the $10,000 fine the league slapped on the Jazz after Layden ripped the officials earlier in the season.

Finally, Layden--with a flourish--relinquished the press room microphone to Riley.

“He gets $10,000 a shot (for appearances),” Layden said. “I’m going to pass the hat.”

For Utah’s sake, the Lakers had better start showing some charity Tuesday, or this will be a short series.

Laker Notes

Michael Cooper, who took a hard fall into the baseline press table in the second quarter, was taken to Centinela Hospital Medical Center after the game for X-rays of his left foot. They were negative, and Cooper said he expects to play in Game 2 Tuesday night. Of course, he’d say the same thing even if he’d broken his leg. . . . Laker Coach Pat Riley, on Frank Layden’s stand-up comedy after the game: “Frank has a great perspective on life. He’s larger than life. I’m sure he came here intense, nervous, he wanted to win, and his team got beat. This is his way of dealing with it.” . . . Thurl Bailey had 23 points for the Jazz. At one point, Bailey was 5 of 8 from the floor; the rest of the Jazz were 4 of 20. . . . The previous playoff record for fewest points in a first quarter was 12, held by seven teams. The playoff record for fewest points in any quarter is 6, which Atlanta scored against Boston on May 6, 1986. . . . Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is now 0 for 3 on career playoff three-point attempts. The Jazz were 0 for 5 from three-point range, the Lakers 1 for 5, Cooper making the only one of the game.