For Ethel Bradley, the Price Paid Is Loneliness

After 47 years of marriage, Ethel Bradley never imagined that life with the workaholic mayor would come to this:

She is lucky to share dinner with her husband one evening a week.

She usually is asleep when Tom Bradley arrives home at the end of a typical 17-hour workday.

She keeps track of the mayor’s career by viewing the late-afternoon news.

“I didn’t realize it, but I guess the best years of my life were the years we spent together before he was an elected official,” said Mrs. Bradley, reflecting on her marriage during a series of recent interviews. “The kids and I really enjoyed him. . . .

‘You Feel You’ve Paid Your Dues’

“As you get older, it affects you. The kids are all gone. You feel you’ve paid your dues. It’s time to enjoy it. I do miss him as a companion now. It’s very lonely here 24 hours a day.”

“Here” is Getty House, the elegant French Colonial in Hancock Park the Bradleys moved into 11 years ago. The 19-room mansion is the mayor’s official residence, but Tom Bradley rarely stays there. When he’s not out of town, he climbs into bed late at night and rises early to ride his stationary bike before heading off to work. Weekends are spent mostly at ceremonial events and the office.

In an interview, Bradley states matter-of-factly that his obligations as mayor shut out his wife and family. He said his schedule “may not give time for me to sit back and put up my feet at home with (Ethel) as much as she would like, but that hasn’t changed since I was a police officer.”

Bradley said he sets aside three nights a year for his wife: “Her birthday, my birthday, the Academy Awards. Those are absolutely inviolate dates.”

The rest of the year, Bradley is out and about Los Angeles attending hundreds of events ranging from cocktail receptions to ribbon-cutting ceremonies. Ethel Bradley said she grew tired of being pushed aside at these events years ago.

“His schedule is just too heavy,” she said. “I get tired of meeting these same people after 25 years. . . . People talk to him all the time. You get pretty upset when you don’t get to see him as it is.”

Garden, TV, Dodgers

Mrs. Bradley said she keeps herself occupied by tending her colorful garden of roses, fuchsias, marigolds and orchids; watching the wide-screen television connected to the satellite dish in the back yard, and cheering the Dodgers (she attended 79 of the team’s 81 home games last year).

Her bright red hair and glowing complexion make the first lady look younger than her 69 years. She complains about gaining weight, of being slowed down by back problems and trapped inside Getty House. “I was always a free bird till I got here. Now I feel like a bird in a cage.”

But clearly her biggest gripe is never having her husband around.

At one time Mrs. Bradley accompanied the mayor on business trips, but his itinerary left no time for her.

“There always was somebody picking me up and taking me somewhere and someone taking him someplace,” Mrs. Bradley said. “We would never be together.”

Today, Mrs. Bradley stays at home while Bradley travels alone. Last year, Bradley made 15 trips out of town and was gone 73 days, according to his appointment calendar. His foreign journeys included Africa, Berlin, Israel and two trips to the Far East. So far this year, Bradley has gone to Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Washington, New York and his hometown of Calvert, Tex.

“His hometown has gone crazy over him. . . ,” Mrs. Bradley said incredulously. “He left there when he was 2 years old!”

Last month, Bradley returned to Los Angeles on a Saturday afternoon after a weeklong trip to Australia and New Zealand. Even though he missed his 47th wedding anniversary while he was away, the mayor went straight from the airport to City Hall to catch up on work. He did not get home until 8 p.m. and he brought paper work with him, Mrs. Bradley said.

The next day was Mother’s Day.

‘Do Things Without Him’

“We had planned to do things without him,” said Mrs. Bradley, explaining how she knew the mayor would be back at City Hall, just like any other day. So she arranged to attend a Laker playoff game with her older daughter, Lorraine.

Before leaving, Mrs. Bradley recalled, she told the mayor: “You look tired. I’m not going to be home. Why don’t you stay home and enjoy the big house by yourself? You never do.”

Mrs. Bradley stopped at a restaurant after the game to pick up some fried chicken and extra cole slaw and potato salad for her husband. “I wasn’t going to cook after the Laker game, especially on Mother’s Day,” she said.

When she returned to Getty House, Mrs. Bradley was startled to discover that the mayor had spent the day at home catching up on paper work and laundering his socks.

“I kissed him and said, ‘Good for you. I’m glad you stayed home and got some rest,’ ” Mrs. Bradley said, a soft smile warming her face.

Mrs. Bradley said the mayor is “a perfectionist” who likes everything from the family car to the front lawn neat and in order. She said Bradley prefers to wash, dry and iron his own socks.

‘An Amazing Man’

Mrs. Bradley said she considers her husband “an amazing man” for his dedication and commitment to serving the city. She is reluctantly resigned to the steep price she must pay for her husband’s political aspirations.

“The years of my life that I looked forward to being with him, they haven’t happened yet. . . ,” she said, her voice trailing off. She knows these years may never come. Bradley will run for an unprecedented fifth term next year and shows no signs of slowing down.

“Because I love him, I’d like to be with him more,” Mrs. Bradley said. “I was hoping now would be the time in my life that I would be with him. I can’t help it. Maybe this is the way things are supposed to be.”