Health : The Drinking Trap : A Parental Guide to What Experts Say Are the 8 Key Elements That Lead Teens to Alcohol
Although teen-agers’ alcohol-related traffic deaths, suicides and violence attract national attention, experts believe millions of young people are affected by a far more silent tragedy, one that often escapes public and parental scrutiny.
For the 20% of the teens who are problem drinkers or heavy drinkers and for the 2% to 4% overall who become chemically dependent, alcohol use can “alter the course of a lifetime,” said Joan Robertson, a University of Wisconsin social welfare professor whose son’s rehabilitation took years and cost more than $50,000. “Some of these kids may never be able to compensate for what they have lost in life experience.”
Mike Schicks, program director at Hazelden, a nonprofit rehabilitation program in Minneapolis, agrees, noting that alcohol abuse can cause teens to miss out on vital parts of life at a crucial time: “Because of alcohol (or drugs), these kids have missed life experience, dating, holding a job, and they suffer a real developmental lag.”
Can’t Be ‘Sheltered’
Experts estimate that 85% to 95% of teens today experiment with alcohol and it is “unrealistic” to think they can be “sheltered,” Schicks said.
Faced with those odds, many parents are wrestling with the question: What can I do to prevent my child from becoming a problem drinker?
“Sometimes, we see parents who seem to be doing everything right, and their kids still are abusing alcohol,” said Pat Tully, a chemical dependency counselor and adolescent coordinator at Inglewood’s Centinela Hospital.
But more often, mental health professionals agree, the route to heavy alcohol use is mapped by the complex interplay of several factors. Here are eight of the major indicators that parents may wish to be aware of, which emerged in interviews with experts nationwide:
Biological Risk: The theory that there is a genetic predisposition to becoming chemically dependent has gained wide acceptance. “When these kids take their first drink, they report a very different physical reaction. They get hooked much faster. These are the kids who have to be told (because of family background) they simply don’t have the freedom to experiment,” said Robertson, a teen alcohol researcher and founder of University Hospital’s Adolescent Alcohol and Drug Intervention Program.
“If you go into a treatment center for adult alcoholics, usually 50% of them come from families where a parent is an alcoholic,” said Dr. Timmen Cermak, a San Francisco psychiatrist and co-founder of the National Assn. for Children of Alcoholics.
If both parents are alcoholics, the risk is higher. “There is a saying in my business,” said counselor Tully, “If one parent is using, half a ship is going down. If both parents use, it’s sunk.”
Of course, not all children repeat the pattern, and some evidence indicates that if the drinking parent is abusive, children are less likely to drink. In studying the unemployed, medical anthropologist Genevieve Ames found that when heavy-drinking fathers had good relationships with their sons, “These offspring also tended to become heavy drinkers, because the role model was positive . . . whereas if fathers were abusers and frequently absent, those sons had a tendency not to drink because the role model was negative,” said Ames, a senior research scientist at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism’s Prevention Research Center in Berkeley, Calif.
Lack of Supervision: Mental health professionals are unanimous: teen-agers aren’t getting enough supervision. “Unsupervised parties are a big problem, as are parents who travel,” said Tully. “Fifteen- to 18-year-olds aren’t equipped to handle the households by themselves, especially peer-group pressure to utilize the house for a party.”
In one aspect, “Rich kids aren’t different from poor kids,” said psychologist Robert Zucker, professor of clinical training at Michigan State University in East Lansing. “One way you get rich is if parents work hard and have no time for children, and that is a disopportunity for the child,” no different from poor people working three jobs to put bread on the table, he said.
One other consequence of lack of supervision: Joel Grube, senior research scientist at the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism’s Prevention Research Center, thinks children who watch too much television may be more likely to be drinkers. “There is a fair amount of drinking on TV, very rarely accompanied by negative consequences such as car crashes and alcoholism. Television may serve some role in reinforcing alcohol as an adult, glamorous activity,” he said.
Parental Attitudes: As Zucker said, “In psychiatric literature, the single most prevalent disorder that comes out of epidemiological studies is alcohol dependence. That doesn’t come from nowhere in adulthood.” Rather, experts agree, children develop perceptions about alcohol based on what they see at home. In many families, alcohol is a staple; children never see their parents having a good time without liquor. Some also observe parents drinking and driving on a regular basis. “Kids get a double message, which is, ‘You can’t drink, but it’s OK for me,’ ” said Dan Smith, executive director of the South Bay Juvenile Diversion Project in Redondo Beach.
Despite dangerous consequences, it isn’t uncommon for parents to provide liquor for teen parties. In meeting with parents, school officials making the above points said they often feel under attack by parents, who complain, “Parties without alcohol are boring,” and “You want our kids to be goody-two-shoes.” Protests aside, “One of the biggest pieces of advice for parents is not to model alcohol. Period,” said Robertson of Wisconsin.
Life Crises: Like adults, children react to life stresses such as death, illness, divorce or moving to a new community. And as with adults, alcohol can serve to deaden pain. “It wasn’t until years later that I learned my son started drinking at 14 1/2, when his father died,” said Robertson. Her panic at not having tenure and worry about security caused her to become more absorbed in work. “All of my colleagues came forward, concerned about me. I wasn’t aware of how much my son was hurting, and how much he wasn’t sharing,” she said, noting that her son turned to alcohol and retreated.
Schicks of Hazelden said the new kid in town is often “at risk. If you use alcohol or drugs, there’s instant acceptance and friendship, rather than the long process of getting to know someone.”
Peer Pressure: In junior high and high school, peer influence is considerable. Washington research scientist Grube found that a teen’s chance of problem or heavy drinking is five times greater if a best friend also is a drinker.
“If you want to explain escalation of any deviant behavior, including substance abuse, it’s the point when kids start hanging around other deviant kids,” said Ronald Simons, professor of sociology at Iowa State University in Ames.
Early Drinking: The earlier children begin experimenting, the greater the risk. With young children, experts say, the drinking is likely to be explosive. “This leads to more problems because chemicals are helping children cope with natural development. If a child feels anxiety, he or she uses alcohol or another drug to sedate that anxiety, and the behavior is learned at a younger age,” Tully said.
Family Bonding: Many researchers view a lack of family bonding, or strong sense of family loyalty and tradition, as an increased risk. “Our research indicates kids who don’t have a strong attachment to family and other traditional institutions such as schools or churches are much more likely to be involved in alcohol use,” Grube said.
“Preserving family values is very important,” said Dr. Peter Steinglass, a psychiatrist and director of the Center for Family Research at George Washington School of Medicine in Washington. In an alcoholic families, he found that when alcoholism doesn’t invade rituals such as holidays and vacations, the families tend not to transmit their alcoholic identity to their children, Steinglass said.
Parenting Style: In addressing the issue of working parents, Ellen Galinsky of New York’s Bank Street College once said, “Who takes care of children isn’t the most important thing. But whoever cares for children must care passionately about their welfare.”
In today’s climate, many mental health professionals said, few parents seem to care passionately about their children. “We call parents at 1 a.m. to pick up their kids, and sometimes, they tell us they are too busy,” said an incredulous Robertson.
Said one Westside high school counselor: “No one seems to care about sitting with kids. . . . And I would bet that today, you could fire a cannon through a sporting goods shop. I just don’t see parents taking the time to really know their children. They are too busy maintaining a life style to pay attention.”
Another counselor said: “How is it that none of these kids who get behind the wheel of a car after drinking know that he (or she) is too precious (to someone) to wind up dead?”
Certainly, parents can’t take all of the blame for children who drink heavily. “The nature of chemical dependency is to try to deceive,” said Tully of Centinela Hospital. However, he said, many parents, confronted with evidence, deny the problem.
“When kids in our program admit using alcohol and drugs, I hear parents say things such as, ‘I thought you spent the $200 on pizza,’ or, ‘You don’t really drink. You just say so because you want your friends to think you do,’ ” Tully said. Also common: Hearing an intoxicated child say it is the first time, and believing it; finding a bottle of alcohol under the bed and accepting the explanation, “it belongs to a friend.”
Often, clinicians say, adults are intent on being buddies, rather than parents, and may lack the skills to confront them. “Parents frequently say, ‘I don’t know how to say no to my daughter,’ ” Tully said. “There is a difference between being a parent and being popular. Although the relationship changes over years, parents need to keep that boundary of being a parent.”
When it comes to prevention, “The goal is not avoidance of alcohol,” psychiatrist Cermak said. “The goal is obtaining a life that is intensely gratifying, which you can only have if you stay sober.”
Some parents, believers in the adage “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” insist that their teen-agers work, even when there is no financial need. Another parent’s strategy: “I encourage my children to take up a sport that is incompatible with alcohol or drugs, such as swimming.”
The effort must begin early, experts say. Joyce Evers, outpatient manager of Meriter Hospital’s NewStart Adolescent Program in Madison, Wis., said parents must begin by talking about the consequences.
“We have to get kids to see that using a substance isn’t a rite of passage into adulthood.” Rather, she said, adult behavior is demonstrated by the maturity and freedom to exercise choice and say no.
Experts agree that when alcohol use is apparent, early intervention is crucial. In an innovative Madison, Wis., program, intoxicated children picked up by police go to University Hospital emergency room, with or without parental consent. Social workers, available 24 hours a day, perform assessments, identifying family and other problems and referring teens to other agencies. “It absolutely makes sense to perform this assessment in a health setting,” said Robertson, who started the program with a grant in 1978.
Standing Tough
When parents learn children are drinking, hanging out with known trouble-makers and criminals, Tully favors standing tough about consequences. “I say you tell your kid, ‘I will not support you or your car if you hang out with these kids. If you get into trouble, I will not spend thousands of dollars on lawyers. And if we go to court, I will not lie to the judge,’ ” he said.
Psychiatrist Cermak thinks a sensible approach is to target children at highest risk, those growing up in alcoholic homes. “We already know where 50% of alcoholics are coming from,” he said. Telling this kind of child to “just say no” to alcohol or drugs is ineffective, he said. “We need to let these kids start talking about their pain.” They need help dealing with the emotional, if not physical, loss of their parents,” he said.
The best prevention, said psychologist Kerby Alvey, founder and executive director of Improvement of Child Caring, a Studio City parent training program, is “a high-quality relationship with your child.”
“Parents aren’t making relationships with children high enough priorities to know their children well enough so that drug issues become part of the conversation,” he said. “That’s what it takes, and it has to start very early. You have to make avoiding substances a priority in the family.”
