BIG

I feel compelled to dispel some of the myths that most people hold about large families--myths that your article reinforced. Not all large families live by hand-me-downs and bland, huge-quantity casseroles. Not all large families require older siblings to assume much of the younger ones’ care and live in bombed-out shells of houses.

I grew up the second of nine in a relatively affluent, but always sensible, home. Our home was the dream and design of my hard-working but ever-present aeronautical engineer father. He and my mother, a graduate registered nurse who gave up her career to work at home, sacrificed much, but quietly. We never had any kind of hired help, but we never went without. We all (boys and girls) learned to bake, cook, weed, clean house, change diapers. We were never expected to baby-sit without being paid--we therefore never learned the resentment of minding younger children.

My parents provided nine quality educations--their primary goal--at major universities; several of us went on for postgraduate degrees. Oh, we had our share of problems but, like the Francos, no drugs or legal difficulties.

I do not understand how they did it--nine individuals who all share the common ground of respect and love and who all have eight permanent best friends.

Thanks, Mom and Dad!

MARY MAILANDER

Redlands