TV Reviews : A Guide to Parents on Explaining Sex to Kids

Five-year-old Tommy asks his mom, “Where did I come from?” Mom takes a deep breath, then launches into a 20-minute lecture about the facts of life. Afterward, she asks him why he wanted to know. “Because,” Tommy replies, “Mikey says he came from Cleveland.”

Parents like that anecdote. It’s not easy talking to your child about sex. When do you do start? What do you say? Maybe it’s not really necessary?

With the United States leading all other developed countries in teen-age pregnancies and abortions, with sexually transmitted diseases at epidemic levels, with the risk of AIDS, it’s more necessary than ever.

The Lifetime cable channel’s parental primer par excellence : “Ask Me Anything: How to Talk to Kids About Sex,” airing tonight at 10, can help.

Hosted by actress and mother Jill Clayburgh, the hourlong documentary--the second in Lifetime’s “Your Family Matters” series--offers a guide to parents. It is divided into segments by age group, from infants to older adolescents. At the end of each is an easy-to-remember informational summary.

The overriding message is that how we approach our children’s sexuality “largely determines how they will approach it.”

Babies and toddlers need to absorb the fact that there’s nothing wrong with any part of their bodies. Older children need to know what body changes are in store. Younger adolescents, who usually pretend they know it all, have an overwhelming need to know that they are normal. Older teen-agers need to make responsible decisions about sexual activity.

But most parents, we’re told, say little or nothing to their children about sex. Nearly half of all mothers, for example, never talk to their daughters about menstruation.

Where are they learning about it, then? From their peers, from movies and television, from bits of adult conversation. Tonight’s program can help parents and children do better than that.