No Excuses sportswear has given its latest...

No Excuses sportswear has given its latest No Excuses award to actress Zsa Zsa Gabor for her conviction for slapping a Beverly Hills cop--”and taking her trial no more seriously than, ‘Dahling, what a slap in the face.’ ” Zsa Zsa’s prize will be a rhinestone-ornamented jeans wardrobe. Previous winners of the award include Malcolm Forbes, Leona Helmsley, Pete Rose and Rob Lowe.

Ilona Staller, a member of the Italian Parliament, has called for a law creating guarded parking places for couples desiring intimacy in their cars. Staller, 38, a Hungarian-born porno star, made the proposal after a gunman attacked a couple parked on the outskirts of Genoa.

A man in Boston was $1 million richer until police arrested him for allegedly running off with a bag of money that fell from an armored car onto a bridge. “He said he thought it was a bag of laundry,” said police officer Paul Painten, who arrested the man about 100 yards from where the money fell.