No Buddy & Mike Act for These Guys : Chargers: Dan Henning and Bill Parcells will be on opposite sides of the field Sunday, but friends will always be friends.

Dan Henning looks at it this way: “You never like to coach against a good friend.”

Bill Parcells agrees, saying, “It’s not all that much fun, but it’s something you have to do.”

These words demonstrate how uncomfortable the opposing coaches are about sending their teams against each other in Sunday’s game between the Chargers and New York Giants at San Diego Jack Murphy Stadium.

It’s a lot easier for coaches such as Mike Ditka and Buddy Ryan, whose mutual disrespect is probably tops in the National Football League. When Ditka’s Chicago Bears meet Ryan’s Philadelphia Eagles, venom drips from every pore of both coaches.

For Henning and Parcells, the best part of the weekend will be ignoring the business at hand long enough to get together tonight. As close friends of 19 years, they will have plenty to talk about without touching upon the X’s and O’s that dominate their lives from July to December.

Back in 1970, Henning coached the quarterbacks and receivers and Parcells coached the linebackers on Bill Peterson’s staff at Florida State University. They weren’t together long, but they established a friendship that has grown over the years.

Even this week, when each was trying to devise means of outwitting the other, the two old buddies conversed twice by telephone before the Giants flew into town.

There were the plans for tonight, of course, and, as Parcell pointed out in a conference call from New York, at least one other pressing matter.

Said Parcells: “I was trying to find out what kind of tile Sandy (Henning’s wife) picked for their house in San Diego (La Mesa). Dan said she had picked taupe and white, and I said I was more into mauve.”

Told of this, Henning smiled and said, “Our families are very close. We’ve taken vacations together and gone to the shore together. We lived around the corner from each other in Florida, and that’s when our families established a relationship.

“I have great respect for Bill as a coach and a friend. Even though I’ve coached mainly on offense and he’s been on defense, we think alike.”

Henning is 47, Parcells 48; both grew up in the New York area. Henning is from the Bronx and Parcells from Englewood, N.J. Henning has a degree from William and Mary, Parcells from Wichita State.

“We had very similar upbringings from a family standpoint,” Parcells said. “We were raised quite a bit the same way, and maybe that’s why we’ve always hit it off real well.”

Both Henning and Parcells became head coaches in the NFL in 1983.

Henning got his big break--if it can be called that--with the Atlanta Falcons. He lasted four seasons with a club that was woefully lacking in talent. His record was 22-41-1, including 7-8-1 in his last year.

Parcells, who had been the Giants’ defensive coordinator, took over a downtrodden team and produced a Super Bowl champion the year Henning drew his release from the Falcons. Despite the disparity in their records, Parcells feels that Henning got a bad deal in Atlanta.

“That’s the business,” Parcells said. “We know that. It was a tough thing that happened to Dan, and he didn’t deserve it. Another friend of mine, John Mackovic (now coach at the University of Illinois), took Kansas City to the playoffs and got fired. That’s the business.

“I’ve been very fortunate in New York. We have a good, stable situation, and it wasn’t always that way here.

“Basically, it’s the same with all of us. If you win, you get to stay. If you don’t, you don’t stay. You’ve just got to win as soon as possible, and once you do that, your personnel department gets on the same page with you. Then you have a chance to keep on winning.”

Sunday’s game will mark only the third meeting of Henning and Parcells as head coaches. The two games in which Henning’s Falcons played Parcells’ Giants were both won by the Giants, 16-13 in overtime in 1983 and 19-7 in 1984.

Before that, the two opposed each other when both were assistants, Henning with the Miami Dolphins and Parcells with the New England Patriots in 1980 and Henning with the Washington Redskins and Parcells with the Giants in 1981 and 1982. Each time, it was Henning’s passing game against Parcells’ defense.

After his stint in Atlanta, Henning returned to the Redskins and handled their quarterbacks and receivers again in 1987 and 1988 before getting the Charger job.

“Dan’s passing offense always gave us trouble,” Parcells said. “He’s an outstanding coach, and you see evidence of that in what he’s trying to do with his team in San Diego. I think they’ll play well.”

Henning recalled the time the Redskins met the Giants during the player strike in 1987. The Giants had started out 0-3 after their Super Bowl victory, including one replacement game, and the Redskins dealt them a 38-12 drubbing.

“That was the toughest I’ve seen it from Bill’s standpoint,” Henning said. “They weren’t as well organized as we were during the strike.

“But he’s a great coach and an excellent administrator. He makes a formidable appearance and he’s tough to beat year in and year out.”

Both Henning and Parcells look back fondly upon their experience under Peterson at Florida State. Henning in particular regards Peterson as his mentor, since Peterson gave him both his first college job and his first pro job.

After a pro career that consisted of one game on the bench as a quarterback with the Chargers in 1966 and one season (1967) as an assistant high school coach in Newport News, Va., Henning was hired by Peterson in 1968. He stayed through 1970, and two years later worked under Peterson again with the Houston Oilers.

“Pete created something at FSU that was good for all of us who were coaches at the time,” Henning said. “Bill had been at West Point, and I went there with the recommendation of Sid Gillman (the Chargers’ first head coach and a Hall of Famer).

“We on the staff were all in our 20s, and Pete created an atmosphere of competitive learning. We appreciated getting a chance to coach and being given responsibility. Many guys went on from FSU to become head coaches. It was a great time in our lives.”

Other proteges of Peterson who are head coaches today include Joe Gibbs of the Redskins, Don James of the University of Washington and Bobby Bowden of Florida State.

Now 69, Peterson has retired from coaching but still works part-time for Florida State as a development officer in the economic education department.

Of Henning and Parcells, Peterson said, “Both of them were already outstanding coaches when they were here. I didn’t really have coordinators, but you could say they took the lead.

“Parcells was a sharp guy. He was really tough on the players, but he got along with them well. They respected him. Henning had been a pro quarterback and had a great knowledge of the passing game. He called most of the plays for us. The kids believed in him.”

And Henning’s future with the Chargers?

“He’s a smart young man,” Peterson said. “If they give him a chance, he’ll make it go. He’s a worker, and that’s probably the biggest key to it.”

The teams’ records being what they are--New York 5-1 and San Diego 2-4--Henning is understandably concerned about Sunday’s matchup.

“I’d rather play a team like that in the playoffs and Super Bowl,” Henning said. “We’re going through the throes of development, while Bill’s program is in full swing, so the game will be quite a challenge.”

Then, again, there is the matter of Henning’s coaching against one of his closest friends.

“Bill and I play golf, tennis and racquetball against each other,” Henning said. “But this is business, and it’s tough for both of us.”