Turning Over the Reins Can Be Tough : Executives: The founder of a family construction company sometimes has to bite his tongue now that his son is making the decisions.

About 10 years ago, Greg Grinnell tried working with his father, Bill, at Grinnell Associates, the family’s West Los Angeles construction company. But the differences in age and experience drove them apart and the younger Grinnell left to work for Security Pacific, first as an international banker and later in the bank’s real estate division.

Then, 2 1/2 years ago, father and son began talking about working together again.

“I realized then it was now or never,” said Greg Grinnell.

He said the first year together, he listened and learned from his father. During the second year, he felt he knew enough to start questioning his father’s decisions.

Since then, their joint effort to run the family’s real estate development, remodeling and property management firm has not been without its conflicts.

“For 40 years, I’ve made all the decisions for this business,” said Bill Grinnell. “It’s very lonely and you become very selfish.”

When he asked Greg to join the company as president, Bill said he wanted to back off and let his son make the major decisions.

“To me the letting go isn’t that tough,” said Grinnell, 64. “I don’t want to be set out to pasture, but there is a fine balance between letting him have his way and letting him make a mistake that costs us money.”

Grinnell said now that his 37-year-old son is calling the shots, “sometimes I bite my tongue until it bleeds.”

Recently, the Grinnells decided they needed outside help to continue working together. On Nov. 15, they flew to Cleveland to attend a family business seminar sponsored by Leon Danco and his Center for Family Business. “This was best seminar I’ve ever attended,” said Bill Grinnell, who stood up at the end of the session to thank Danco for his presentations.

Greg Grinnell said he and his father have already agreed to establish an outside board of directors for the firm, which has revenue of about $1.5 million a year.

“Even though we are a tiny company, I think we need an outside board of directors,” said Grinnell.

“I’m coming from the outside, so I have a different viewpoint of how things work,” said Greg Grinnell. “And, we both think we are right. So, it’s a perfect situation for a board of directors.”

Grinnell said he and his father still have many things to work out before his father retires. “I am running things, but it’s like doing it with my hands tied,” he said.

Still, both Grinnells are optimistic about the future of the family business. Greg’s wife, Mechas, now works for the firm as an architect and a designer. And his mother, Dee, also comes into the office to help out once a week.

“In the last 40 years, she never came to work in the office, but now she wants to be near her son,” joked Bill Grinnell.