Bereaved Sometimes Conclude Interviews With Heartfelt ‘Thank You’

It was another murder story. Three brothers were asleep on the living room floor of their house when a gunman kicked opened the front door and began shooting. One brother died, another was wounded.

My job as the police reporter was to go to the scene and find out what happened and, if possible, why. It meant talking to the police, neighbors, witnesses and most important, relatives.

Interviewing bereaved loved ones is one of the most difficult parts of being a police reporter. The irony is that these kinds of interviews also make a good story better.

It requires the reporter to walk into heart-wrenching situations and ask awkward and probing questions of grieving people. It requires a bedside manner difficult for a beginning reporter--not something taught in journalism school.

Despite their grief, the family of the three brothers involved in the shooting talked about the crime. They sat me down on their couch and offered insights into the victims’ lives. They also tried to explain what they described as a mysterious attack by an unknown assailant. The wife of the dead man gave me a picture of her husband to run in the paper.

Others are not as cooperative. Some relatives politely decline comment, others become violent, calling the would-be interviewer sleazy and ghoulish.

New to this beat, I have sometimes had to explain to myself and others why journalists thrust themselves into these volatile situations. I do not deny that there is some sensationalism involved. A dramatic interview with a devastated relative makes good copy.

Still, the interviews have merit. They provide readers with a more in-depth account of the facts and emotions of the story. There are times, I believe, that the information the media provides actually helps to solve a crime, prevent a crime or lessen the grief of those involved.

Also, a newspaper article is often the last public statement that will ever be made about a victim. It is a relative’s last chance to tell the community about the special characteristics of their loved ones.

Nonetheless, the task is unpleasant.

I have walked into situations and found it very difficult just to begin the interview. Every question seems harsh and insensitive and preambled by an apology.

If the victim has died as a hero, it’s easier to interview relatives, who seem more willing to talk. For example, I interviewed the mother of a young man who died during the recent U.S. invasion of Panama. Despite being terribly saddened by the death of her son, she was eager to discuss with me his character and patriotic nature.

Because the job of interviewing the bereaved is so hard, each reporter approaches this type of interview differently.

I try to sympathize as much as possible with the victim’s family, while remaining persistent.

Sometimes I offer to call relatives and go over material that I’m going to print to reassure them. I have found this a useful tool in avoiding errors, cultivating sources and obtaining a phone number where I can reach them in the event of new developments.

When I finished the story of the three brothers and called a relative of the family about some final details, I ended the conversation by thanking her for her time. She took a deep breath and thanked me back. Then as I was about to hang up, she asked me a question: Would I send her a copy of the story? I said I’d be glad to.