Inspired by an Illinois legislator who recently...

Inspired by an Illinois legislator who recently held a “There Oughta Be a Law” contest to encourage new legislation, Assemblyman Dick Floyd (D-Carson) has come up with a “There Ought Not Be a Law” competition.

Floyd is promising a free trip to Sacramento to whoever finds the silliest state law on the books. “We need less, not more laws,” the law(un)maker said.

Just to get the ball rolling, he’s introduced a bill to abolish Section 11450 of the state Penal Code, which outlaws marathon dances, not to mention any human endurance in “sliding, gliding, rolling or crawling.” The bill will be amended to include the winning silly-law entry.

There’s more undoing to do too.

Spokesman Jeff Ruch notes that ancient provisions of the state Penal Code still:

* Outlaw the wearing of false whiskers.

* Require a clean, straw mattress for prison inmates.

* Forbid destruction of any bird nests in a cemetery--”other than swallows’ nests.”

No one knows why swallows were excepted. Unless it was to punish any feathered miscreants that failed to nest at San Juan Capistrano.

The mention here recently of the movement to create an Elvis Presley postage stamp brings to mind another worthy subject that has also been neglected by the U.S. Postal Service:

L.A.

Amazingly enough, no stamp has ever paid tribute to the sights of the Freeway City.

San Francisco has five such stamps. Oakland can take pride in the Bay Bridge stamp. Even San Diego has been honored.

There are, of course, numerous categories in which it would qualify.

For architectural marvels, consider the Triforium, the giant jukebox with the flashing lights in the Fletcher Bowron Mall downtown; the seminal four-level freeway stack, also downtown; the tamale-shaped cafe in East L.A.

Many important battles are memorialized on stamps. But nary a mention of the 1845 Battle of Cahuenga, in which the armies of Manuel Micheltorena and Pio Pico blazed away at each other for hours, with the total casualties amounting to one horse. The two generals, it must be noted, did receive significant consolation: Both have surface streets, diplomatically non-intersecting, named after them.

The Postal Service has honored many great aviation feats. But it has stubbornly overlooked the July 2, 1982, voyage of Larry Walters, who dismayed the Federal Aviation Administration by ascending 16,000 feet above Long Beach in an aluminum lawn chair hoisted by weather balloons.

By the way, officials were unable to find any laws against manned lawn-chair flights.

Fortunately, for Walters, he wasn’t wearing false whiskers at the time, saving him from the straw mattress torture at a state prison.

Southern California hadn’t had a “first” for a couple of weeks, but the drought ended Monday.

The Compton Fire Department announced that it will become the first fire department in the nation to go all-water bed. That’s right: Springs and mattresses are out in the firehouse.

Fire Chief Monroe Smith said the beds, donated by the water bed industry, will be part of a survey to study their effect on firefighters’ stress and sleep.

This could be the biggest break for the industry since an episode of David Horowitz’ “Fight Back” show featured an elephant standing on a water bed. The animal didn’t go to sleep, but the bed didn’t break.

One cautionary note for firefighters: Water beds have been known to encourage “sliding, gliding, rolling and crawling,” and in California that’s against the law.

Just wind, baby: Was it an optical illusion or did the skies of downtown L.A. seem to turn silver and black Monday after Al Davis’ announcement?