Long Beach, which is laboring mightily to...

Long Beach, which is laboring mightily to be chosen over Anaheim as the home of the next Disney amusement park, has hired a marketing group to shore up its image and coin a new civic slogan.

Initially known as “Iowa by the Sea” to outsiders (not to the Chamber of Commerce), Long Beach suffers periodic identity crises. And it’s over 100.

It has called itself, at various times, “The International City,” “The Queen City” and “The Most on the Coast.”

A Disneyesque slogan is needed now, and the choice seems obvious to us:

“The Happiest Port on Earth!”

Speaking of happy, we hope you’re having a nice “Duck, Cover and Hold” Month.

That’s the somewhat unwieldy designation for this month’s phase of the state Earthquake Survival Program.

County Administrator Richard Dixon sent out a request for all personnel to crouch under their desks for 30 seconds at 10 a.m. Tuesday.

You know how it is with recalcitrant workers, though.

The county supervisors, for instance, stubbornly remained seated in the board room. Supervisor Ed Edelman no doubt felt there was no need to repeat his memorable dive under the table last Feb. 28 during the Upland quake.

Another county employee who ignored Dixon’s directive and stayed in his chair in the boardroom was:

Richard Dixon.

But the supervisors were good for a verbal pratfall.

Board member Mike Antonovich introduced a motion to direct the county health department to conduct classes in Mandarin and Cantonese for owners of Chinese restaurants.

Why? For the ambience? Besides, Chinese restaurant operators generally know how to speak those dialects. Would this motion set a precedent? After all, few French waiters in L.A. seem to be able to speak French anymore.

Oops. After questions were raised, Antonovich admitted that the motion was in error. What he wanted was Chinese classes for county inspectors .

No doubt, he wished that now it was time to duck, cover and hold.

Meanwhile, a few blocks east, L.A. City Councilman Gilbert Lindsay, who has seemed weak at times since suffering a stroke in 1988, was apparently fired up by a Times editorial calling on him to resign. The 89-year-old Lindsay, who has had a spotty attendance record of late, was in place by 10 a.m. Tuesday for the council meeting.

As his colleagues trickled in, Lindsay stood several times and shouted into his microphone, “Let’s get this show on the road!”

Glad-We-Got-This-Straightened-Out Dept.:

Tucked away in the audit of the county coroner’s office is a recommendation that “all specimen . . . refrigerator/freezer units must bear signs stating: ‘No food storage.’ A separate room in the laboratory that is not used for analysis may be designated for smoking/eating purposes and may contain a refrigerator/freezer marked, ‘Food storage only.’ ”

MiscelLAny:

The sculpted figures high atop the entrance of USC’s Bridge Hall (see photos) illustrate the variety of academic pursuits on campus. One figure is studying a book. The other figure, clad in football helmet, is studying a . . . football. Bridge Hall, by the way, is part of the USC Business School.