Just Like Spike? Wear the Right Thing
DEAR HOT: My wife bought me this Homer Simpson “Atomic Dad” T-shirt. She’s desperately trying to make me look hip, young and sexy(I work out and she thinks T-shirts are just the ticket to show off my bod). But wearing the likeness of an unshaven nuclear plant employee leaves me cold. I don’t mind looking hip, young and sexy, but . . . Homer Simpson?
--READY TO NUKE THE SIMPSONS
DEAR READY: How about a Spike Lee “can/can’t” T-shirt instead? It employs images from the acclaimed series of Spike Lee/Michael Jordan TV commercials for Nike (Lee also directed them). Your wife will love the shirt because it’s cropped (and will give her a glimpse of your washboard abs) and you’ll probably appreciate the classy graphics (a sophisticated black and white design, rather than a Crayola-colored cartoon character). The shirt sells for $15 at Frontrunners shops in the Westside Pavilion and Brentwood and includes a melange of the words “can/can’t” on the front and a photograph of Lee on the back.
DEAR HOT: I love shopping, my fiance doesn’t. I long to take him on expeditions with me as we roam the malls, looking at china patterns and making him try on decent clothes so he doesn’t keep wearing the same brown T-shirt with the holes in it that he’s had since college. On the rare occasions when I’ve been able to drag him to a store, the normally wondrous experience of shopping takes on nightmarish proportions. He gets bored after five minutes and we get into a huge row. Is there any way to resolve this, or are we destined every time we enter a store to scream like banshees at one another? Should I just give up on him altogether?
--HOT TO SHOP TOGETHER
MS. STEIN SUGGESTS: Don’t give up. Where there’s a credit card, there’s a way. And even though your fiance wasn’t born with the shopping gene (few men are), there is a way you can make the experience more bearable for you both.
It’s based on a simple reward system. For instance, after 15 minutes in the china department looking at Wedgwood, suggest stopping for a cappuccino . After 20 minutes looking at bridesmaid dresses, go to the nearest record store and shop for Metallica CDs. A quick jaunt through men’s wear to hunt for shirts and it should be time for lunch, or maybe a trip to the sporting goods store. It’s also best if you make a list of the things you’re shopping for and stick to it; no lingering at the cosmetics counter trying on eye shadow. And for your last stop, I recommend the lingerie department. After that, he’ll think the trip was worth it.
MS. KRIER BEGS TO DIFFER: I’m not so sure manipulating your boyfriend as if he were a dolphin at Sea World will work. You can try it, but if he balks, give up. Fast. I’m no psychologist, but I have made a science of having fun. Try this: Gently invite him to shop with you, don’t put up a fuss if he says no. After all, who wants a relationship built on somebody suffering--even if it’s not you.
One more tip on the science of having fun: You’ve each got to learn to do what you really want as often as possible. Sometimes together, perhaps sometimes apart. After all, how would you like it if he tricked you into seeing guys with no teeth banging around a little puck on a skating rink?
Plus, if you don’t pressure him into shopping with you, he might even give up his resistance, go voluntarily and who knows--buy you an Armani suit.
