Retreats Give Quiet Sanctuary From Stresses of Everyday Life : Getaways: Centers have individual and group programs to refresh the soul in an hour, a week or more.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who like to refresh themselves by getting away from it all and those who seek renewal in groups.
Several local retreat centers offer out-of-the-ordinary experiences for those who want to escape the bustle of city life for an hour, a day, a weekend or longer.
“In our world today, as it gets busier and busier and more and more frantic, people need to be able to have a place to step aside and get in touch with a place of serenity and peace,” said Sister Patricia McCarthy, director of Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Encino.
Nonprofit facilities, such as Poverello of Assisi in San Fernando and Holy Spirit, provide accommodations for $25 to $40 a night in a restful setting so that individuals and groups can search for clarity in their own way.
Holy Spirit is a 10-acre parklike environment with picnic benches, a fountain, large and small duck ponds, and a tiny orchard--all within a few blocks of Ventura Boulevard.
If visitors listen closely, they can hear faint freeway noises above the sound of rustling leaves. “I go to retreats because I can hear myself think,” said Mary Williams, a Bel-Air screenwriter and novelist.
Holy Spirit is just over the hill from Williams’ house, and she often spends time there and at Serra Retreat House in Malibu. “This is a very invasive town and there’s so many stimuli. If you’re out in the streets, driving, the glow and the flow are just exhausting.”
When Williams attends a private, or silent, retreat, she reads the spiritually and psychologically oriented books that are available in the rooms and in the centers’ libraries instead of bringing her own. “I seem to be able to get connected to myself. I’m also able to pray,” she added, “and I don’t mean by that, formal prayer. I just mean listening to God and getting guidance from him.”
About 30 to 50 people spend the weekend at Holy Spirit and 80 to 95 stay at Poverello. In addition,school groups book space during the week.
Jack Bierman, 47, editor of L.A. Parent magazine and a resident of La Crescenta, spent a day and a night at Mater Dolorosa Retreat House in Sierra Madre after his wife had done so and said he found it incredible.
“I guess I always sort of wanted to do it,” he said. “Doesn’t everyone have a fantasy of being on a desert island or being in a monastery?”
Bierman attended midweek, when Mater Dolorosa’s kitchen is closed and no other visitors were present. He described his room as very Spartan.
“I arrived at 7 a.m. and by about 11 I felt like I had been there 24 hours. Times goes so slowly. It’s kind of like a meditation even if you’re not meditating. All you hear is the buzz of insects,” he said.
With no TV and no food, he said, there aren’t the “little spacers that give you some sense of the way the day is unfolding. After three or four hours the only thing that starts to intrude is the lengthening of shadows.” Although he said he found this unstructured retreat difficult, he felt he had accomplished something by the time he left the next morning. “What I liked about it was the feeling that I just did something the average person couldn’t do, kind of like a mini-marathon,” Bierman said.
Occasionally, a guest will find the lack of structure too unsettling. “There have been a couple of people who have gotten bored,” said Bonnie Simpson, Holy Spirit’s office manager. “One man’s wife had paid for him to come on retreat because she thought he needed it. He just couldn’t relax. He disappeared before the day was over.”
Many prefer to attend the structured programs that most retreat centers offer. For example, Poverello of Assisi Retreat House in San Fernando specializes in Marriage Encounter weekends and Engaged Encounter groups in English and Spanish. According to Sister Mary Jesus Ochoa, the retreat’s administrator, married couples who participate in the encounter program often tell her that they wish they had done so long ago.
The 10-acre landscaped San Fernando retreat facility, which opened in 1962, contains wide green lawns, tall palms and other trees, and is surrounded by stone walls. Although organizations and church parishes reserve weekend space as far as two years ahead, retreat accommodations are usually available for individual women during the week.
Reservations are also made far in advance by organizations seeking to use the facilities at Holy Spirit Retreat Center. Individuals can get on the mailing list to be notified of a variety of programs. These range from “S.O.S. for Mothers,” a one-day program to help mothers nurture themselves, to “Rehearsing Risk and Reframing Anger to Be Assertive,” an afternoon program using journal writing, role playing and guided imagery.
Upcoming Holy Spirit summer programs include a workshop on developing fun and laughter in your life, a session for newly separated, divorced and widowed people, and a journal writing workshop.
Holy Spirit is run by the Sisters of Social Service, but about 70% of its guests are not Roman Catholic, Sister Patricia said. Among those sponsoring retreats at the Encino center are Jewish and Buddhist groups, Alcoholics Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Rabbi Allen Maller of Temple Akiba in Culver City regularly schedules Marriage Encounter retreats at Holy Spirit. He said he likes to use retreats because “you get a real spirit. It’s one thing to come to a synagogue for a couple of hours for a class or a service. But when you spend an entire weekend with people you get to generate a certain kind of mood. By the time you get to Sunday afternoon, you’ve had a chance to open up to people, to share with each other. It’s a great spiritual experience.”
Although most of these organizations have some sort of spiritual connection, Holy Spirit also welcomes groups with team-building or management purposes, Sister Patricia said. Bonnie Lowry, regional manager of training and development for SmithKline Beecham Clinical Laboratory in Van Nuys, chose Holy Spirit as the site for the medical testing laboratory’s training programs.
“I wasn’t that happy using hotels, aside from the fact that they’re terribly expensive. Somebody mentioned this retreat, and I went over there and fell in love with it. It’s so peaceful,” Lowry said.
Still, most of those who choose a retreat, whether individually or with others, are trying to work out a personal problem.
“I was hurting and I was searching for some direction in my life,” said Valentina Patino, 49, of her experience at a Holy Spirit one-day retreat. “First, six of us went to the church to pray for each of our problems. Then we came to the Oakside Room and sat in a circle. They asked us to light a candle and then blow it out as we shared. It was very meaningful. It made me realize that I had to get on with my life.”
Another nearby retreat center is the 3,100-acre Brandeis-Bardin Institute in the Simi Valley. Its stated purpose is the enrichment of Jewish life through art, culture and educational opportunities.
“When you come here for a weekend, you get immersed in a total Jewish living experience,” said Melanie Gross, Brandeis-Bardin’s public relations director. “It’s not only getting away from the outside world and doing something Jewish to recharge your batteries. The experience inspires people so that when they go back to whatever they’re doing, they feel a stronger appreciation for their heritage.”
Brandeis-Bardin develops most of its own programming. Dr. Alvin Mars, the institute’s director, described a popular series called “House of the Book,” in which 60 to 70 people spend a weekend.
“We had actors who did dramatic readings of Jewish stories. We had a classical concert that was written here on a Jewish theme. We had a Ladino concert, which is Judaic-Spanish music. A Cal State L.A. professor spoke on Walt Whitman and the Jews,” Mars said. Hundreds more come Saturday afternoon to hear scholars speak and to participate in special cultural events and Israeli dancing, he said.
The summer series, “Season Under the Stars,” features concerts and dramatic presentations on Sunday evenings.
“We’re drawing more and more young families,” Gross said. “Everyday life is so fragmented, but here you can spend quality time.” A weekend for grandparents and grandchildren recently was held for the first time.
“When retreats started and got hip in the ‘70s, you’d go and escape and kind of chill out from the world for a week or 10 days,” Mars said. “But today it’s too hard. Our lives are so fragmented that a retreat experience can be just one day. You can feel the difference in your life.”
Hidden Away in the City
A few nearby retreats:
* Brandeis-Bardin Institute, 1101 Peppertree Lane, Simi Valley 93064, (818) 348-7201 or (805) 526-1131.
* Holy Spirit Retreat Center, 4316 Lanai Road, Encino 91436, (818) 784-4515.
* Mater Dolorosa Retreat House, 700 N. Sunnyside Ave., Sierra Madre 91024, (818) 355-7188.
* Poverello of Assisi Retreat House, 1519 Woodworth St., San Fernando 91340, (818) 365-1071.
* Serra Retreat House, 3401 Serra Road, Malibu 90265, (213) 456-6631.