Loving and Losing a Child of Adoption

Two days ago a family was told they must give up their 17-month-old son to his birth mother. As a prospective adoptive mom, I can't imagine the horror this child's adoptive parents are going through. I am outraged.

This is an issue that pro-choice and pro-life forces can join together on. It is also an issue on which birth parents and adoptive parents can agree. It is a matter of being pro-family and pro-child.

Families, like my husband and I, who tried for years to have a child are so eager to love and cherish our adopted children. They are no different to us than any biological child. They are our children.

Why, after struggling for so many years and suffering disappointment after disappointment, must we be afraid that a birth mother can after six months' time (or in this instance 17 months) take our child away from us?

Think of the impact on the child. He is being ripped away from his loving parents to go live with someone he doesn't even know.

The biological process of conception is not what makes you a parent. It is the wonderful hours rocking the baby to sleep, playing with the baby, feeding the baby, staying awake at night when the child has a cold, seeing the first smile.

This issue is not anti-birth parents. We want to tell our children that their birth parents loved them and made a very difficult but loving choice. Loving their children, they should want their child to have the best that life has to offer.

ELLEN LISTON

Trabuco Canyon

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