Marine Wives Learn to Lean on the Corps : Families: At Camp Pendleton, spouses of men who have shipped out describe fears, uncertainties and how they cope.

With their husbands poised on the brink of war, wives of Marines on duty in the Middle East spoke Friday of their fear and uncertainty--and of how they help each other cope.

“My husband has been on other deployments, but this one obviously is a lot different,” said Monika, a corporal’s wife and the mother of a 4-year-old. “The danger this time is the one thing we always talk about. We don’t really know exactly where our husbands are, but we know they went over there to fight.”

Wives of Marines ranking from a lieutenant colonel to a lance corporal spoke to reporters at this sprawling facility Friday. The corps declined to identify the women, save by first name, citing military security.

“My children watch the news like everyone else,” said Fran, a native of Dallas and mother of two. “I try to talk to them about it whenever I can, ask them how they feel. We all understand the element of danger that is involved.”

The TV news, which Monika keeps on all day, has become her constant companion.

Because deployment is always a part of Marine Corps life, support groups for wives are also always available, said Cpl. Lynda MacTavish, a Marine spokeswoman.

“Our Marines are always gone,” said MacTavish, whose husband is also a Marine, “so there are always groups of wives without husbands. We have several support groups at all times that provide activities for the wives and the children. They aren’t set up so it’s like going to a psychologist or anything like that, but it’s groups of women with common problems who can spend time with each other.”

For Robin, who has been married to a Marine for nine years, those support groups help. She has tried to be prepared for separation.

“Having my husband sent away doesn’t come as a surprise, but that doesn’t necessarily make it any easier,” she said. “Most of us know what we’re getting into when we marry a Marine. We cry like other wives who are separated from their husbands, but at least we can do it together.”

The separation is something new for Laura, the wife of a chief warrant officer and mother of their first child, a 10-month-old son.

“We’ve only been married for about a year and a half, so this is a new experience for me,” said Laura, who is also a Marine. “I’ve recently been through the feeling of being left behind here, and my first thought was how am I going to do this.

“But I’ve got my obligations too, which maybe makes it easier for me than for those just sitting by the telephone.”