Oh, Say, Did Anyone See Dawn’s Early Light?

In a world poised for chaos, why do I worry about whether I’m crazy? I mean, in the grand scheme of things, what does it matter if I walk into a bakery and see a sign saying, “Yesterday’s Muffins” and ask the clerk if they’re referring to me?

Let me tell you about what I saw in the sky. Maybe you’ll think I’m crazy. But I know I saw it.

I was lying in bed last Thursday night, around 4 a.m., possibly asleep, possibly still contemplating the nightmare laid out on “Nightline,” when the room lit up with a blinding white light. And my eyes were still closed.

When I opened them and looked out through the window at the eastern sky, I saw a straight white line like a giant fluorescent bulb the length of five jet planes. It disappeared in a second.

I said to my husband, “Did you just see something?”

I figured that I was either going to get the snoring soundtrack or the “Why did I marry a madwoman?” speech. Instead, he said, “I just saw the whole room light up while my eyes were closed.”

Bingo! Either I was sane or I’d driven him mad. Either way was acceptable.

“What do you think it was?” I asked him.

“The aliens,” he said without moving or opening his eyes.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Seriously?” he said, shifting to the fetus-with-pillow position. “Seriously, it was aliens bringing the Messiah.”

The next morning, I called the planetarium. “I know this sounds crazy,” I began and then thought about hanging up. But I realized, look, who am I talking to here? Probably a guy who spent nine years in the university so he could stare into space all day.

He suggested that I call the Air Force base to see if anything was launched. He said that he’d had other calls about a similar weird sighting, for which he had no explanation.

Calling the Air Force was even harder. “Hey, I know you guys are busy with Saudi Arabia and all, but can you help me out?” I filled in the relevant details: blinding flash of light . . . fluorescent bulb in the sky . . . husband didn’t kick me out of bed . . . husband likes to sleep cuddling pillow . . .

“No, we didn’t launch any missiles,” the Air Force guy said. “We got a call from a radio station asking about the same thing. Sorry. I have no explanation for it.” Neither did the airport or NASA.

Nobody could explain the astounding thing except my 11-year-old daughter, Hannah. “Oh,” she said. “That was just a UFO.”

So, either I’m crazy and they’re coming to take me away or I’m sane and I hope they will.