Sure, He Knows the Desert, but His Timing Isn’t So Hot

An 11-day race involving 114 motorcycles, 83 cars, 12 trucks and 19 ultra-light motorized vehicles ended in Giza, Egypt, this week.

Or as Gayle Young of United Press International reported: “Two Frenchmen in a Soviet automobile thundered out of the desert to the foot of the Pyramids Wednesday to win Egypt’s Pharaoh’s Rally. . . . “

Young took nothing away from motorcyclist Doug LaPorte, a Californian who was the first to cross the finish line but “unknowingly failed to contact a checkpoint on the second day and was disqualified.”

According to UPI’s desert correspondent, as LaPorte finished to the cheers of hundreds of rally enthusiasts and a few wayward tourists, Alexander Campbell, a rally organizer said: “He grew up in the California desert and he’s a desert kind of guy. That really helps here.”

Trivia time: Who holds the record for most consecutive hitless at-bats in World Series play?

So much for hype: Today’s game between Wisconsin and Northwestern, both 1-4 overall and 0-2 in the Big Ten, won’t be televised locally and won’t be the radio game of the week.

So we’ll have to trust Northwestern Coach Francis Peay, who described the matchup as one “between two very similar football teams and an interesting game from that standpoint.”

Attention, ABC and CBS: ESPN analyst Beano Cook, in an interview with College Football Magazine, was asked whether any team besides Notre Dame could put together its own contract with a television network.

Said Cook: “No. The two biggest things in football are Notre Dame and the USC Song Girls, and the USC Song Girls are the only ones besides Notre Dame that could have their own network.”

Of course, of course: Raider defensive end Howie Long, in his foreword to Bo Jackson’s new book, “Bo Knows Bo,” writes:

“If Bo and I were both stallions, I think I could command--based on physical characteristics and past performances--a stud fee of maybe $500,000, Bo would get $5 million. It’s like Bo’s Secretariat and I’m Mr. Ed.”

Hot seats: The University of Arizona recently went one-on-one against Lawrence Ollason, a federal bankruptcy judge. Guess who won.

Ollason signed an order that an auction be held Oct. 27 to sell two pairs of Arizona football and basketball season tickets belonging to David Randall Jenkins, who filed for bankruptcy three years ago. His real estate development and construction firm faces criminal charges of illegal sale of securities and defrauding investors. Jenkins himself faces 300 fraud charges.

Despite the university’s contention that it should be allowed to retain control of the tickets, associate athletic director Ted Kissell said the school would abide by Ollason’s decision.

About the auction, Kissell said: “I have a feeling that courtroom is going to be very crowded.”

Trivia answer: Marvin Owen of the Detroit Tigers was hitless in 31 consecutive at-bats in the 1934 and ’35 World Series.

Quotebook: Heavyweight Mike Tyson, discussing Natalie Fears, the mother of his son, in Interview magazine: “I don’t owe her anything. She owes me something--she’s got my baby. She could do a lot worse.”