Crush of Family Leaves Theory of Relativity Behind

As I have suggested, an understanding of Einstein’s theory of relativity is not available to most of us.

I have read several brief explanations of it, and, like Omar Khayyam, “I came out by the same door where in I went.”

Being married to an engineer, Marguerite B. Robinson, of Kirkland, Washington, has been exposed to the theory, but decided to leave it to those who understand it.

Some years ago, however, when the Robinsons lived in Los Angeles, she had an experience that gave her a clue to Einstein’s vision of space/time. The Robinsons were visited, en masse, by relatives.

Except when they are inundated by relatives, the Robinsons live a sane and orderly life. “At these times,” she writes, “something happens. Even my dogs sense it and run through closed screen doors and dash madly toward some unseen, unknown time or place.”

It began with postcards from Mrs. Robinson’s sister, Jean, hinting that she and her daughter, Mrs. Robinson’s niece, Dona, and the niece’s 5-year-old son, Justin, might come to the Robinsons’ for a visit. Jean’s husband would come later. “If it’s not too much for you or anything,” a postscript added.

The day comes. “I empty the supermarket and mortgage the boat to stock up the liquor cabinet. I put some of the liquor inside me and get set. I’m ready for anything.”

On a Sunday morning, a call comes from the airport. Jean and Dona and Justin are there. Rob Robinson drives out to pick them up. “Los Angeles Airport at noon is worst than traffic at the Mardi Gras!”

Mrs. Robinson assumes that they would have eaten on the airplane. Her food is frozen. But they have come economy class, and are starved. “Well, good old McDonald’s is only a few light blocks away--no problem.”

Mrs. Robinsons’ parents join them at McDonald’s. When they returned to the house, the dogs “went into their ecstasy thing. Pandemonium prevailed. The kid decides he is a dog and removes his clothing and ‘arfs’ around on all fours biting ankles.”

When it comes time to prepare dinner (for 11 by now--more relatives), Mrs. Robinson discovers that she has forgotten to thaw the roast. “Another trip to the market and 50 bucks disappears into shopping sacks.

“I return to the kitchen and start preparing dinner for 11 people. They all try to join me in the kitchen. Rob is pacing the floor and the back yard. He looks like a wild man. He is a wild man. He’s into Martini No. 3 by 2 p.m. I wish I could join him.

“At 6 p.m. dinner is on the table. Everyone is having a marvelous time, at least everyone is laughing, even myself. It is hardly noticeable that my own laughter is hysterical . . . . “

At 4:45 a.m., the kid shakes her awake. Later the visitors decide to go to the beach. Mrs. Robinson declines. “I warned them of sunburn, sharks, riptides, and they were off.”

Mrs. Robinson’s son and his wife are coming for dinner. Jean’s husband, Don, is arriving. “I scrambled a big meat loaf together and scalloped some potatoes and made a huge salad and ran out for fresh fruit for dessert, another $15.”

The two women return from the beach badly sunburned. Mrs. Robinson’s son and his wife arrive at dinner time. Jean’s husband calls from the airport. “I gave a passing thought to the primal scream therapy.”

The sunburns turn worse. In the morning Jean goes to a dermatologist, who prescribes cold compresses. Mrs. Robinson tries to help. Meanwhile, Don and Dona and the kid decide to go to Marineland. They will eat lunch before they leave.

“Off to the store again, more dollars. Cold compresses for Jean, cold gin for me. And again dinner is served, I know not how nor even when.”

Next day everybody goes to Disneyland. Jean isn’t sure she can go. Don finds a motel near the park. They go to Disneyland at 3:30 p.m., and again the next day, all day.

Another nephew calls. He’s coming too. Don flies home. “I sure don’t blame him. I would if I could.”

The gin isn’t working. Mrs. Robinson thinks she is having a heart attack. Rob takes her to the hospital. A doctor gives her some tests and tells her she is OK. He advises, “No drinking, no smoking, plain food, and plenty of rest.”

“He hasn’t been here long. My own doctor was, of course, not on call. He has lived here about the same number of years that I have and understands relativity.

“You see how easy it is to understand Einstein?” Mrs. Robinson concludes. “He left all of his relatives in Germany. I personally think he was a very nice man. And, I’d really have liked to tell him how I learned to understand his theory.”