MAKING IT WORK : Spending Time With Children May Be Best Antidote for Holiday Blues

Spending time with children may be the best antidote for the loneliness that strikes many elderly people over the holidays, says Frances Mead-Messinger, a Huntington Beach psychologist.

“Children, with their sparkling eyes and their laughter and their gleeful noises that they make during the holidays, are very cherishing to older people because they hit us in our sensory pathways which tap into memories. Most older persons tend to sit with their memories in silence, and that’s not helpful,” she said.

“You can sit with a child and go through old photographs and talk about them, and they love it. And it helps the older person break the silence of those memories they hold in because they’re afraid they won’t be able to handle them.”

Children benefit, too, when the elderly have a chance to share the memories that make holidays so poignant, Mead-Messinger notes. Young people gain a sense of tradition that is hard to come by in today’s fast-paced world, she says.

“With two-income families, mom and dad don’t have the time to sit back and tell the old stories. But children need to know about their roots to feel secure.”

Children also can gain from the unconditional love that is easier for grandparents to give than parents, according to Mead-Messinger.

“Grandparents can separate who the children are from their performance and simply accept and love them--a real golden opportunity,” she says.