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This is supposed to be a humor...

This is supposed to be a humor column but we’ve just come across a Christmas card that so captures the spirit of giving that we can’t resist mentioning it.

Spectacor, which operates the Coliseum / Sports Arena, sent out a new version of “The 12 Days of Christmas.”

Sing along, now, as we celebrate: “ One Coliseum Renovation . . . Two Luxury Suites . . . Three Long-Term Leases . . . Four Million Plus in Profits . . . Five Nights of Madonna” and . . . and . . .

Sorry. There we go again, getting all choked up.

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Uncle Milton Industries responded to a recent item here with a letter telling us that “ant farm” is its trademark and should be capitalized.

“Correct generic terms for a housing for ant observation,” the company said, “are ‘ant vivarium,’ ‘ant observatory’ or ‘formicarium.’ ”

You remember Aunt Vivarium. She’s the one who always spikes the coffee at Thanksgiving.

Why, you might ask, would local televangelist Gene Scott merit a mention in Horseplay, an English riding magazine?

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Well, it seems that Scott was suspended recently by the American Horse Show Assn. because he “violated the AHSA’s Sportsmanship Rule by falsely accusing an AHSA judge of prejudice after one of Scott’s horses lost a competition.”

Scott “appeared on his national TV program and for hours called the judge such names as ‘a prejudicial incompetent nincompoop.’ ”

O Lord.

Writer C.H. Parsons recalled “the steady oncoming tread of the dauntless Iowans, whose faces were toward the setting sun"--toward Long Beach at the turn of the century. So many Iowans settled there that the city became known as “Iowa by the Sea.”

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So, it was appropriate that a sign saying, “Closed for Iowa practice,” was recently hung on a gate at the Cal State Long Beach athletic field.

The Hawkeyes, working out for the Rose Bowl game, have become the Iowa Football Team by the Sea.

You may have noticed that L.A. billionaire Marvin Davis revealed that he owns a “significant amount” of the stock of financially troubled First Interstate Bancorp and suggested that its directors sell the firm. Perhaps Davis would be mollified if the “I” logo on the crest of the 73-story First Interstate Tower was replaced with a “D.”

No sooner did we point out that no one predicted the 2.7-magnitude quake that nudged Pomona the other day than David Rientord of La Verne called to dispute us. Rientord said he didn’t go public because he didn’t want to panic anyone. Especially the visitors from Iowa.

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miscelLAny:

Downey police rules prohibit more than two officers gathering at the same doughnut shop at the same time.


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