Clubs Grow Into National Chastity Belt : Social trends: A personal ad started one group that exploded in dissension. Avoidance of AIDS and divorce seem to motivate many.

There are too many virgins in America. Flooded with applications, the National Chastity Assn. has been forced to disband.

Mary Meyer, the founder and a divorced mother of two, confirmed that the organization has been rendered “temporarily inactive.” She said that the group had become so popular that it sometimes received hundreds of letters in a day.

The group’s recent demise was marked by a get-together of about two dozen members at a New York nightclub. Chastity Assn. party-goers called their cause the “wave of the future.”

Baird Jones, an NCA member and professional party promoter, said: “I guess Mary was swamped bureaucratically, but so many other people are involved now, and I know of at least 20 similar NCA groups forming around the country.

“If you think about AIDS, if you think about sex addiction, the only alternative is chastity,” he said.

The association was not affiliated with any religious organization. Members paid a $15 yearly fee to receive the group’s newsletter and national membership roster and paid an additional $45 to receive an updated list each month.

The organization’s short life was marred by divisive policy issues. Since its inception in May, 1988, the membership suffered from a “tremendous division” between honest-to-goodness virgins and divorced people, Jones said. Some groups across the country required prospective members to undergo polygraph screening or medical exams to prove their virginity. Others, including the New York group, observed an honor code or accepted vows of abstinence.

The nationwide group was formed after Meyer received more than 100 responses to a personal ad she placed in a singles’ column: “Female wanting to meet a man who would like to marry. Celibate before marriage only.”

Shortly thereafter, noting the interest in celibacy, she booked a local community room, sent out announcements and presided over the organization’s first meeting, at which 19 people showed up. Three members enrolled and, during the first year, more than 140 people signed up. Nationwide, there are 3,000 to 4,000 members, Jones said.

The organization’s membership ballooned last year after Meyer appeared on the television talk shows, including “Oprah,” “Donahue” and “Geraldo.”

Although local groups differ in their definitions of chastity, most believe in abstaining from premarital sex and supporting all or many of the group’s tenets, or “19 desires.” These include the desire to marry someone who is one’s best friend, to marry someone who will be totally faithful and honest, and to be in love with one spouse throughout life.

“In the New York group, if you want to stop sex, you’ve got to stop hand-holding too, because one thing leads to another,” Jones said. “Marriage must come quickly after engagement because there is enormous emotional pressure after engagement. At what point can humans hold themselves back?”

Renee Victor, a 35-year-old unemployed actress, attended the nightclub get-together.

“I think it’s a sin to just go and have sex with everyone,” she said. “I think they’re whores, and they will go to hell. I’m going to wait until I’m married, and it will be the most beautiful thing. The more women I meet (who feel) like this, the less I feel like a freak.

“I guess a lot of people think that at a certain age you have to lose your virginity, that it’s not an asset anymore,” she said.

Randi Vanderhorsten, 20, joined the group two years ago because she was afraid of contracting AIDS.

“The association was promoting the fact that abstinent people aren’t uptight,” Vanderhorsten said. “Losing my virginity will be exciting. It will be challenging, the way it will happen.”

Fred Baer, a 59-year-old stock market analyst, explained that the fund raising of the New York branch of the NCA is partly aimed at helping young women such as Vanderhorsten pay for college education.

“I suggest names of people to the association,” Baer said. “Half of the women are devout churchgoers; others would like to get an education.”

Baer, an anomaly in the nightclub with his blue Oxford shirt, plaid jacket and beige cap, said he is not religious. He would not say whether he is a virgin.

Jones confirmed that many members have strong religious faith. He explained that he had changed his mind about intimacy because of his lifestyle.

“I’m a workaholic and a bit of a nerd,” said Jones, who is 36 years old and lives with his parents. “I’m not into the whole macho thing. I think some of my friends have gotten into trouble with relationships and marriage, and the danger of epidemics spreading through sex is enormous now. Fifty years ago, there would have been nothing unusual about a group like this.”