Caring for the Aged

Please extend my appreciation to Steve Padilla for “Those Struggling With Aged Parents Find a Circle of Support.”

I am a member of that group (and at this point am extremely lucky not to be facing life-extension decisions) gaining insight to handle what might be ahead for me.

My mother is in good health at 86 and happily living in a senior facility in Valencia. My companions are not so fortunate, and their stories are just as Padilla related. But reading them it was as if I’d never heard them and they made me cry.

It is extremely difficult to “take over” for your parent--to make housing, medical and financial decisions for one or two who used to do the same for you. It tears your heart apart and affects you mentally and spiritually. You are filled with guilt, second guesses and question always, “Am I doing the right thing?”

This is compounded if you have siblings who either disagree with you on every issue or simply won’t face the fact that these decisions need to be made.

The miracle of science has given us life until we are 80, 90 and 100 and over, but society has not kept up with science’s advances.

Our group leader, Margaret Longenecker, is wise, articulate, funny and guides us to detach emotionally, think rationally and react positively. We’re fortunate she has made this group available.

Thanks again to Padilla for his reporting skills and the space you gave him.

M. E. CARDENAS, Northridge