MAKING IT WORK : First, Bring Your Differences Out in the Open

The honeymoon glow often wears off sooner than newlyweds expect, and it’s not uncommon for disillusioned couples to end up in marriage counseling before they celebrate their first anniversary, Laguna Hills psychologist Lori Magnusson says.

Magnusson, who specializes in depression among women, suggests the following steps to help newlyweds through first-year adjustments:

* Talk more with each other about what you are feeling instead of withdrawing.

* Find ways to show each other you care. You need these tender moments to balance the tense ones.

* Don’t dwell on the dark side--remember the positives that brought you together.

* Examine your “hidden agendas” so you can bring your expectations closer to reality.

* Fight depression by taking care of yourself. Exercise, spend time with friends and pursue your own interests. Couples tend to turn inward during the first year of marriage and depend too much on each other for happiness. When you take time for yourself, you ease the stress on your relationship.