MAKING IT WORK : Support, New Attitude Are Musts in Coping

Families should confront chronic fatigue syndrome as a team and set priorities to help the victim get the most out of life, says Susan Ramsey, a Corona del Mar marriage, family and child counselor who has the ailment.

Spouses or significant others may need to find their own support network to help them adjust to the major lifestyle changes that chronic fatigue syndrome requires, Ramsey says.

Ramsey also offers the following suggestions to syndrome sufferers:

* Find a support group or friends with whom you can share your fears and frustrations.

* Give your loved ones and friends literature on chronic fatigue syndrome to help them understand your illness--and let them know what your limits are.

* Deal with conflicts in your relationships as they surface rather than allowing stress to build.

Learn to say no.

Stop being a perfectionist and learn to accept more help from the people around you.