Verbatim

Real Life 101. From the spring session of the education program that offers classes in practically everything: the Learning Annex.

* The Hard Times Survival Workshop. Course description: “Don’t kid yourself. The recession is here. You could lose your job. Here’s what you can do about it.” Gee, Wally, thanks.

* How to Get Anything on Anybody. “Will teach you how to find anyone; a lost relative, an ex-spouse, an old friend . . . or perhaps someone who owes you money.” Now you’re talkin’.

* How to Begin and Continue a Conversation. “You will learn to pick up cues, read between the lines, use body language and find out people’s intentions.” And cliche at will.

* How to Find and Recognize Your Soulmate. “There is someone out there who is right for you! This seminar will help you figure out how to recognize him or her.” It always helps if “this person” wears a red hat.