Economic Distress : Unemployment: No job. No money. No hope. Thousands are paying a heavy emotional price as the recession tightens its grip.

In front of her mother and 8-year-old son, she jokes about her futile search for work. But at night, long after her family has fallen asleep, Pat Fatemeh is still awake, sitting outside staring at the sky.

“I think, ‘Oh, God, it’s really bad. I’m the head of the household. What am I going to do if I can’t feed my son?’ ”

Fatemeh, an aerospace engineer with 10 years of experience, was laid off from Douglas Aircraft Co. more than four months ago. She has contacted hundreds of companies looking for work. Most never respond. Since the December day she was laid off, she has lost 37 pounds, dropping in dress size from 7 to 3. She drinks 10 cups of coffee a day, and has chronic headaches. And always, her mind is churning, playing out scenarios in which she and her family are hungry and homeless.

Thousands of Southeast-area residents who have been laid off are paying a heavy emotional price as the recession tightens its grip, reducing to a trickle the supply of jobs. Many wrongly blame themselves, convinced that if they had been smarter or harder working or nicer to the boss they would still be employed today.

“If a person is out of work, is not bringing bread to the table, it really has an enormous psychological impact,” said Dr. David Friedland, a Los Angeles industrial psychologist. “Self-worth suffers. As time passes and they don’t find work, it reflects even more the feeling that no one wants you.”

It was not the layoff that drove P.K. to a nervous breakdown, it was the fear of one. “They started laying off people right and left,” he said, too embarrassed to reveal his full name. “We didn’t know who was going to go next. I couldn’t handle it. I had a fever. I couldn’t walk. Who can work when it’s not clear whether you are going to have a job tomorrow?”

Unable to sleep at night, P.K. began calling in sick. On days he felt well enough to get out of bed, he often arrived at work late. In January, after four months of sporadic appearances at work and a plummeting job performance, he was notified that he would be laid off. P.K., an anxious-looking electronics engineer with trembling hands and dark rings under his eyes, still is not sure whether his collapse prompted the layoff or whether he would have lost his job anyway.

At times like these, people drink more, smoke more, fight more and sleep less. The newly unemployed describe a sense of worthlessness, of waking up in the morning with nowhere to go. Couples argue. Children sense their parents’ fears, said Marianne McManus, a Los Angeles psychologist who specializes in anxiety disorders.

“Family fights about money increase. Kids are scared. They think they are going to be homeless,” McManus said. “All spending is suspect. ‘You shouldn’t have bought pork chops, you should have bought hamburger.’ The daughter can’t have a dress to go to the prom. The tooth fairy doesn’t visit. It is all very upsetting to the family that has to endure it.”

Happily married for 11 years, Shari Vigo, a beautician from Long Beach, says the recession has driven a wedge between her and her husband. Vigo has watched her business decline a staggering 60% since last fall. Her husband, an electronics distributor in Orange County, was laid off in December, rehired, then laid off again in March. They have no savings, and in addition to mortgage payments and credit card bills, the couple also pay child support to Dana Vigo’s former wife. They fight constantly about money.

“He gets frustrated and disgusted,” Shari Vigo said from her Seal Beach salon on another slow Friday afternoon. “He’s used to being prosperous, doing well, playing golf. We are not used to scrimping. He’s mad all the time. He doesn’t laugh or smile. He’s crabby or grouchy, and I react to it.”

The Vigos have stopped going out for dinner, and there are no more steaks for supper. Instead, they eat chicken and turkey-and-pasta combinations. They no longer need two baskets when grocery shopping because they only buy what they are going to eat within the next two days. Pricey fruits and vegetables are passed by until they go on sale, Shari Vigo said. They no longer entertain, buy new clothes or take weekend jaunts.

“We found ourselves digging in a jar for pennies,” she said. “We used to make $75,000 a year. This is ridiculous. My husband and I have had serious conversations about separation or divorce. If we break up, it will be because of this recession.”

Counselors say that being laid off is a traumatic experience for most people. But for some, it can be a blessing once the initial shock has passed. Although some workers may fall to the fires of the recession, others rise from the ashes. People who never liked their jobs have reason to start over. In midlife, nose-to-the-grindstone types are taking up new careers, indulging secret wishes to work outdoors, get off the freeway, escape the rat race.

“For some, it can really be seen as an opportunity, a chance to move, to finish that degree,” said Kathleen McCue-Swift of the Cal State Long Beach Community Psychology Clinic.

McCue-Swift speaks from experience. She was laid off after more than 20 years as a data-entry processor. “I hated the job, but I probably would have never left it on my own,” she said. “It was just a great opportunity to go to school.”

McCue-Swift is director of the psychology clinic’s 7-year-old Reemployment Center Project, which is a joint effort by the Long Beach Private Industry Council, the state and Douglas to help displaced aircraft workers find jobs and cope with layoffs. At the Lakewood branch of the state unemployment office, the agencies have set up an outplacement center, called an RIF (corporate acronym for “reduction in force”) center.

Every morning, just after 8, they straggle in: technicians, office clerks, engineers and assembly-line workers who have been “riffed.” In a way, they say, the center has become their new office. It is an escape from home, where time hangs heavy and television advertisements for truck driving and technical careers serve only to remind them of their predicament.

Some will come for only a few weeks before they are hired by some company, or decide to go back to school, or move to embark on a different career. It once took an average of two months before a laid-off employee found work. That period of time has grown to six months, experts say. Many come to the center like clockwork to check job listings, make telephone calls, fax their resumes and share information. Some seek counseling, others enroll in the center’s program to assist them in managing stress. Many bone up on interview techniques and resume writing. When they are not job hunting, they stand around, coffee in hand, and commiserate.

Fatemeh, the 34-year-old aerospace engineer, is usually one of the first to arrive. She positions herself by the fax machine, hoping that the next job listing that comes over will be the one that works for her.

“If I stay home, I go crazy,” she said. “I watch TV, then I start thinking, ‘I have to pay this, I have to pay that.’ ”

In many ways, the RIF center staff say, the regulars have created an informal support group that can help some of the unemployed emerge from the recession with their nerves intact.

“Different people react differently,” Friedland said. “Some become mobilized, others immobilized. Some are take-charge people who will make the process of searching for a job their new occupation. Others will sit at home and ruminate.”

After sitting at home alone for several weeks, P.K. began coming to the center regularly. When he walks through the door, his new friends greet him by name. He stops to chat and then begins making phone calls and checking the bulletin boards for new job listings. This is unemployment--the nightmare that drove him to nervous collapse. But inside this place, he concedes, it does not seem so bad.

“These people are really strong,” said Ron Browne, a counselor at the center. “Some may get locked into the feeling that they are weak and fragile, but they are really strong.”

Coping With Stress

Every week, a group of Douglas Aircraft workers who have lost their jobs gather at the state unemployment office in Lakewood for a workshop on stress management. The following are some suggestions they receive on coping with the stress of a layoff. * Do not blame yourself. Keep in mind that the sluggish economy and the tight labor market have left thousands without jobs.

* Don’t suppress your feelings. Talk to family and friends.

* Brainstorm on solutions and options. The layoff could be a chance to try something new.

* Try relaxation techniques, such as deep-breathing exercises.

* Avoid alcohol and drugs.

* Exercise.

BACKGROUND

In 1984, Long Beach officials received word that the Starkist tuna plant on Terminal Island would be closing and 1,200 workers would be laid off. Most of the employees had worked at the cannery for 10 years and did not speak English. With no plan to help the workers who would be dumped into the job market, city officials turned to Dr. Alan Lowenthal, director of the Cal State Long Beach Community Psychology Clinic. He developed a project that offered job training and focused on each worker’s strengths to help them see their layoff as an opportunity rather than a setback. Because most of the workers spoke only Spanish, the project also emphasized different ways to cope with the stress of a layoff, with special attention to the particular needs of Mexican and Central-American culture, values and lifestyle. Since then, the project, now called the Reemployment Center Project, has assisted hundreds of laid-off workers from all different backgrounds with one-on-one counseling, job search assistance and workshops on how to manage stress.