A Euphemism by Any Other Name Is Still an ‘F’ Grade

Do you speak educator-ese? Do you love the sound of buzzwords in the morning?

If so, check this out:

“Learner empowerment, personalized experiences to make learning meaningful, and continuous progress/success can prevent and remediate student learning problems at all levels. At the senior high level, learner-centered instruction to support educational engagement and a sense of school membership are critical to dropout prevention.”

And where can this thicket of overgrown language and twisted logic be found?

In a report released this week by a San Diego city schools task force and adopted post-haste by the school board.

Henceforth, all students will succeed. A thousand flowers will bloom. By law, July and August cannot be too hot.

The board has banned the F grade.

Any student who fails a class can ask for a “No Credit” instead, then take the course over, and over and over. Only a passing mark can appear on a transcript.

Also, it will be largely forbidden to make elementary students repeat a grade, lest feelings be hurt.

Didn’t somebody say that a pig dressed in a tutu is still a pig? Or that a sociologically correct Promotion/Retention Policy is still a lowering of academic expectations?: No risk, no fault, no sweat.

Don’t just take my word for it.

J.M. Tarvin, principal of La Jolla High: “This will simply lead to a position of no standards. It’s nonsense.”

James Vlassis, principal of Mira Mesa High: “I believe in reality therapy. You don’t do the work, you fail. This is the worst decision I’ve seen in 31 years in education.”

He notes that there are already lots of early warnings and lots of remedial help, especially for transfer students.

Of course, educational trends come and go.

In a few years, a different school board will probably tighten things up. The no-failure policy will be seen as having hurt kids.

They’ll probably be called collateral casualties of imperfect policy implementation or some other euphemism.

Sheik Frolics With Wives--All 11

Locals only.

* Rest and recreation, times 11.

That 747 jumbo jet that took off from Lindbergh Field on Wednesday?

The property of a sheik from the United Arab Emirates. Taking home the sheik and his 11 wives after a San Diego frolic.

* More than 300 students at Montgomery Junior High School in San Diego have signed a petition asking promoters not to bill the upcoming Tyson-Ruddock fight in Las Vegas as “Desert Storm II.”

The four student organizers have parents who served in Operation Desert Storm. Their petition says using the name is unpatriotic and exploitative.

* San Diego has been picked for the next mammoth convention of the United Auto Workers union, June, 1992.

The union’s home, Detroit, came in second. Not enough hotel rooms.

Also, the surf on Lake Huron is crummy, and it’s a long way to a good Mexican restaurant.

* Names we could do without: A gun shop on El Cajon Boulevard called Guns ‘R Us.

Of Pantyhose and Deuteronomy

Pantyhose and water. Both running free.

* Ad in the San Diego-based Southern California Christian Times:

“Need more money for you and God’s family? It’s easy with No-Run Pantyhose. See Deuteronomy 29:9.”

The Biblical passage (“ye may prosper in all that ye do”) doesn’t say anything about snags and baggy ankles. Go figure.

* The redevelopment agency wants an exemption from city drought rules so water can flow at the historic Horton Plaza Fountain.

The reasoning: Without water, a recent $150,000 repair job will crack and deteriorate.

* Further proof that yesterday’s joke is today’s environmentalism.

There is a bumper sticker often seen on clunkers: “Dirt Test in Progress. Don’t Wash.”

Now, Cox Cable service trucks, unwashed since April 1, have a real sticker: “Excuse Our Dirt. We’re Conserving Water.”