CLIQUES

James Sniechowski isn’t your run-of-the-mill camp counselor; in fact, he prefers the term emotional initiator . He leads groups of 20 to 100 men into wilderness areas around Los Angeles for wild-man weekends. You know, those retreats where a group of guys go off into the woods, wear bandannas, bang drums, write spontaneous poetry and search for the lost brotherhood of man.

Sniechowski was a successful television actor until he decided in 1979 that he “didn’t want to constantly speak someone else’s words.” So he went back to school and earned degrees in psychology and philosophy. His relationship with his tough Polish father drew him to the wild-man movement. “My father was a Detroit factory worker who did not take well to children, who wasn’t very communicative. As an adult, I felt alienated from men. I thought men were brutal, boorish, hostile, punitive and uninviting. Something was missing in my friendships with other men.” In 1987, he began organizing men’s meetings in Santa Monica; three years later, he founded the Menswork Center. According to Sniechowski, most men are too inhibited to form real friendships with other men. “We live in a society that insists on man-to-man competition,” he says. “It is very threatening for men to become intimate, so, as a consequence, most men spend their lives closed to emotional intimacy with other men.” In the past year, Sniechowski has organized several wild-man weekends to help men get closer to each other. During the retreats, the men write, sing, play and talk about themselves. The retreats take a spontaneous, free form, but Sniechowski has set one rule. “Women bashing is strictly prohibited.”

What should women expect when their wild men return? “Balance. Women will see men become more vulnerable, emotionally needy, able to better express loneliness and compassion, yet still be strong.” That, and a lot of dirty bandannas.