They Do : 15 Couples Tie the Knot After Years of Loose Ends--and Married Life

In his traditional white shirt and black bow tie, Arturo Cortes held on to his new wife, Claudia, as they waited to pose for pictures Saturday at St. Vincent de Paul Roman Catholic Church.

They had just been married in a ceremony that was unusual, in part, because 14 other couples had joined them at the altar. Most of the couples have been living together for years and have children.

The couple have been together just three years, but Arturo and Claudia Cortes have seen the birth and death of a 1 1/2-year-old son, who drowned in Mexico seven months ago. After that tragedy, they promised themselves to get married in the church.

“This is something we wanted to do before God to show the love that we have for each other,” Cortes said in Spanish. “Our son in heaven knows that we’re married now.”

The couples, married in a group ceremony by Father George Stevens, were brought together by Stevens and church volunteer Ida Joseph, who noticed a few months ago that a large number of parents who wanted to have their children baptized said they were not married.

Others had been married in civil ceremonies that are not recognized by the church. In Mexico, the origin for many of the brides and grooms, it is traditional to marry in a civil ceremony, then marry again in the church, but many couples had put off having the church ceremony.

So Joseph approached Stevens with the idea of finding a way to get these couples married. The couples attended two months of classes and retreats designed not only to improve their relationships but to teach them more about the church and the sacrament of marriage.

“They want to belong to the church,” Joseph said. “They want to participate, but they don’t know how.”

Many of the couples also said they could not pay for what they thought would be an expensive event. Joseph and other volunteers offered to make hors d’oeuvres and the wedding cake. Joseph herself bought the champagne.

“It’s very different,” said Julia Aguilar as she emerged from the church hall. She and her husband, Esteban, went through a civil ceremony five years ago and have three children. “In the civil marriage you just live together, but when you’re married through the church, then God is really in your life.”

“We realize this is for ourselves and for our children,” said Alberto Clara as he stood with his new wife, Margarita. They have been together for 10 years and have two children, Arturo, 9, and Sergio, 5.

Because money was a main reason that kept them from marrying, the couples were told not to worry about what they wore for the ceremony. “We wanted all of them to come as they are, because that’s not the main thing,” Joseph said.

Some of the brides, who ranged in age from 19 to 71, wore traditional white dresses. Some dresses were off white or decorated in tiny flowers. The men were dressed in suits or simply wore dress shirts and slacks.

Looking around the all-purpose room that serves as a temporary church while parishioners raise money to build on a new site, Stevens noticed the simple decorations and uncluttered walls. Then he looked at the couples sitting together at the front of the room.

“Many times, couples who are getting married look for another church, to find a prettier one, one that will look good in photos,” he said. “Or they find a big hotel and pay $3,000 for a reception.

“It’s not in a park or a beautiful hotel or some magnificent place, but the focus here is in their love,” he said.

One by one, the couples were brought forward to recite their vows, exchange rings, then have lazos (ropes made of ribbons or beads that encircle the newlyweds’ shoulders) placed on them by their padrinos , or maids of honor and best men. Close to 300 friends and family members watched.

After the nearly two-hour ceremony, which was conducted entirely in Spanish, families gathered outside for pictures, then returned to the room for the reception.

The oldest couple, Victoria and Louis Contreras, were renewing vows after 32 years of marriage and two children. Vicky Contreras, who served as her mother’s maid of honor, said the preparation for the ceremony brought her parents closer together.

“What I’ve noticed is a big turnaround,” she said.

“They are more affectionate with each other, and they hold hands. I’ve never seen that before. It’s been really special for me too.”

Joseph had a look of contentment on her face after the ceremony.

She did not hesitate when asked whether she will ever again go through the extensive process of preparing other couples for marriage.

“I feel good about this,” she said. “There are so many problems among the Hispanic people in the poor community, and they need a lot of help.

By helping them spiritually, that’s how they’re going to improve their situation, not just by getting better jobs or money.”