The Magic Message : Alerted to AIDS, Children Try to Understand That Bad Things Can Happen to Their Heroes

They are worried, sad, angry, scared. They are not exactly certain what sex is all about, but they know that what happened to Magic could happen to them if they don’t have “the right kind of sex.”

And for sure they know, if they didn’t before, that bad things do happen to good people--even to rich, famous ones with a wardrobe of athletic shoes and fancy cars.

Soon after the Lakers’ Earvin (Magic) Johnson revealed that he had tested positive for the virus that causes AIDS, fifth- and sixth-grade students at Alfred E. Noyes Elementary School in Altadena clamored to tell how the announcement is affecting their lives.

With big, sad eyes and second-hand wisdom gleaned from parents and TV, the children relayed what happened to them when the subject of AIDS invaded their small world. This time it was someone they felt they knew--a basketball hero that even their parents idolized.

“My dad was so upset,” said Howard Potter, age 10, “that I felt like bursting into tears. He told me, ‘Don’t have all that sex and stuff and don’t kiss girls you don’t know--then you won’t get sick.’ ” The fifth grader says he is “more scared of sex than I was before because of AIDS.”

Matthew Winston, 10, said his dad said much the same thing: “He was real sad and said I shouldn’t do what Magic did.”

Can a 10-year-old really comprehend “what Magic did” that led him to contract the HIV virus?

Lawrence Majovski, child psychologist in Pasadena, says that for children of that age, a thorough understanding of sex is not what it’s all about.

“Rather, it’s about understanding the consequences of taking risks--and even 2-year-olds can be taught that concept,” Majovski said. “The importance of this is to help the child understand the risk involved and the price that must be paid.”

For the Altadena children, the lesson seems to be sinking in.

“Stay safe when you have sex,” said Robin Bradley, 11, whose grandparents told her “how you catch AIDS.” She said her father was so upset by Magic’s plight that “he sent all us kids to bed because we were doing our homework too loud. He never did that to us before.”

Gary Emery, a Los Angeles psychologist, said children ages 7 to 11 are not as upset by Magic’s illness as their parents are.

“Children this age don’t think a lot about the future; they don’t have a sense of future time,” Emery said.

By next week, the experts said, Magic’s illness may have receded into the background of their everyday lives--but he will not be forgotten.

Tamara Carruthers was watching TV with her mother when Magic’s news conference intervened: “I think this will change who I go out with and who I have intercourse with when I’m older,” the 11-year-old said.

And watching Magic deal with his illness may make it easier to deal with her own. “My mom and I both have something wrong with our hearts; my grandma had two heart attacks too,” she said. “I noticed that Magic is very courageous and he keeps his smile through everything.”

Julie Ann Sayegh said her older brother is 12, “and he was really mad about this whole thing. He didn’t think such a bad thing should happen to someone like Magic Johnson. He asked my parents how you get AIDS, and they talked to him like an adult. They’ve never done that before.”

The fact that Magic has the HIV virus but does not have AIDS seems easy for the children to grasp. “When you get the virus, you don’t feel sick yet,” said Jason Wright, 10. “But when you get to feeling sick, you know it turned to AIDS.”

What should parents tell children who are frightened?

Barbara Korsch, a pediatrician at Childrens Hospital and professor of pediatrics at USC, suggests focusing on basic information and emphasizing prevention techniques.

Parents might tell children that although anyone can get AIDS, there are ways to prevent it, Korsch said.

“How technical you get depends on what the child asks,” she said. If the child does not ask very specific questions, parents can give general answers about “taking precautions” during sex. If the child wants to know more, the parent might explain what a condom is and how it is used, she said.

“What kids really want to know is, ‘Can I get AIDS? Can my parents get it? Can my friends?’ ” said Korsch, adding that “the real threat” to children at this age is if someone they rely on becomes infected.

One reason so many youngsters appear anxious is that parents are filled with anxiety, the doctor believes. When trying to explain the disease and prevention, she said, the exact choice of words is not as important as the overall attitude of the parents.

If children ask whether Magic will get AIDS, she said, the best answer is that he has been exposed to the virus and has the potential to get AIDS but that the disease may not strike for a very long time.

Craig A. Robinson, a family counselor in Tustin, believes that parents’ first obligation is to educate themselves about HIV. Being armed with the facts “opens the door” for parents to have a frank discussion” not just about HIV, but also about tragedies that happen.

“Talk about how (tragedy) can happen to anyone, that even Superman has a weakness--kryptonite,” Robinson said.

Parents should point out how magnificently Magic has handled the news, Robinson says, and how to accept the bad things and “look at the good side and get on with our lives.”

Chris Anderson, 11, said he has already lost the Magic envy he once had: “I would have wanted to be in his shoes a few weeks earlier. But not now.”

Free-lance medical writer Kathleen Doheny contributed to this report.