BUENA PARK : A Grand Task That Requires a HUG

When Irene Koontz’s grandson was just a few months old, his parents decided that they didn’t want children, leaving the grandmother with a choice--she could raise the baby herself or turn him over to the state.

It wasn’t a hard decision to make.

So today, at a time when she thought the responsibility of raising children would be over, Koontz is taking care of a kindergartner.

“There is no way, no way whatsoever I would have let” the state take the baby, said Koontz, 50.

She is not alone. A growing number of grandparents have taken on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren as the natural parents--for whatever reason--decide that they don’t want to or can’t.

To help others in the same situation, Koontz has started a support group that meets every week at the Buena Park Senior Center. There grandparents gather to talk about being parents again, air their anger at their own children and lament missing out on grandparenthood.

“Deep down inside I hope one of his parents comes and takes the responsibility that they should . . . and we can be grandparents like we should,” Koontz said.

After attending a similar group in Long Beach, Koontz decided to start one in her own back yard. Still in its infancy, a core of about eight people have been coming to the meeting since it started in November.

Despite the Buena Park location, they are drawing people from nearby cities including Anaheim and Cypress--and they expect many more as the word gets out, Koontz said.

Called “HUG”--for Hug Your Grandchildren--the group meets for two hours each Tuesday night and is led by counselor Claudia Eien, who for the past three years has raised her granddaughter Ashlie. Eien is able to bring her career expertise as a certified counselor as well as life experience to the meeting.

Becoming a parent again when your home has been empty brings with it the simplest to the most complex problems, from finding baby-sitters to battling in the courts for custody.

The grandparents find themselves in a 90s-style generation gap. Their own friends don’t have young children, and many don’t want them around. To help bridge the gap, the chapter is planning several social functions, many with their sister group in Long Beach.

The group meets every Tuesday at 7 p.m. at the Senior Center, 8150 Knott Ave. For more information, phone (714) 761-4561.