At Least He Should Provide a Horse Laugh

Baltimore lawyers Jerome and Jane Michaelson own a horse they say has a chance to run in this year’s Kentucky Derby.

The horse’s name is Art Buchwald, same as the syndicated columnist’s.

Jerome Michaelson’s explanation: “We spent some time with Art at Martha’s Vineyard last summer and we talked about naming a horse after him.”

As a 2-year-old, Art Buchwald raced twice at Philadelphia Park, winning the first race and then finishing third.

This year, he was eighth in his only race, but Jerome Michaelson is not discouraged.

“We plan to run him in the Jim Beam Stakes (at Florence, Ky.) and we have high hopes for him.”

Should Art Buchwald run well in the Jim Beam, his next stop would be Churchill Downs and the 118th running of the Kentucky Derby.

If that happens, the original Art Buchwald, a Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist, will be there to cheer on his namesake.

“This is a dream of glory,” Buchwald said from his Washington office. “If he runs in the Derby, I’ll go down there for it.”

For what it’s worth: In the 20 baseball arbitration cases, the teams beat the players, 11-9.

But the 157 players who filed for arbitration received salary increases totaling $112,040,000, an average increase of $713,631, or 100.9%.

Who, me?President Bill Giles of the Philadelphia Phillies ate breakfast in a Clearwater, Fla., restaurant the other day at a table next to one occupied by Lenny Dykstra, who finished eating and left.

When Giles paid his check, the manager asked if he knew the man who had been at the next table. Giles pretended he didn’t.

According to Giles, the manager said: “That was Lenny Dykstra. I saw where he can make something like $11 million in the next three years. What kind of guy would pay a player that kind of money?”

Giles, who had approved the contract, said he simply shook his head.

“I said: ‘Yeah, baseball salaries are getting kind of high, aren’t they?’ ”

Trivia time: What pitcher gave up the most of Hank Aaron’s 755 home runs?

Spring phenom: The New York Yankees are excited about second baseman Pat Kelly. “Pat Kelly has more range than anybody I’ve ever seen at second base,” said Yankee coach Clete Boyer, a former Gold Glove third baseman. “Dick Green and Chuck Cottier had range, but this guy has more. He has more than anybody, and I played with Bobby Richardson.”

Ol’ 77: Cleveland Indian pitcher Jack Armstrong, on why he chose to wear uniform No. 77 this season:

“I’m not superstitious or anything, but I was born on March 7. If I do have a favorite number, it’s seven. When I came here, all the lower numbers were taken. When I went down the list, 77 was staring at me, so I took it.”

Theft adviser: The Baltimore Orioles, who ranked last in the major leagues in stolen bases in 1991, recently hired former Dodger Davey Lopes to teach them how to improve on 50 steals in 83 attempts in 1991.

Trivia answer: Don Drysdale, 17.

Quotebook: George Raveling, when he was the Washington State basketball coach, on his 7-foot-2, 275-pound center, James Donaldson: “He was born on June 6, 7 and 8.”