Nurturing Bonds in Adoption : Parenting: More adoptive mothers turn to breast-feeding to experience a physical aspect of motherhood. An institute helps prepare the women for the work ahead.

Women usually choose to breast-feed because of the potential nutritional and immunological benefits or to bond closely with their babies. But adoptive mothers have another compelling reason--to experience a physical aspect of motherhood, since they missed out on pregnancy and birth.

The number of adoptive mothers trying to breast-feed is small but increasing, according to the Lactation Institute in Encino. About two prospective adoptive mothers call the institute a month, about twice what it was two to three years ago, institute officials say.

Local branches of La Leche League, a support group for breast-feeding mothers, report an increase in calls to the league’s San Fernando Valley hot line from adoptive mothers. Statistics are not kept, but a spokeswoman said calls had about doubled in the past two years.

There is enough interest in the subject that La Leche League offers a booklet called “Nursing Your Adopted Baby,” which is available from local groups and through the league’s international catalogue.

The ability to produce breast milk does not depend on pregnancy or hormones, but can be brought about through mechanical stimulation, according to staff members at the Lactation Institute. To prepare to breast-feed, future adoptive mothers must keep an intense pumping schedule--using an electric breast pump 10 to 12 times a day for 15 minutes at a time. This procedure often starts two to three months before the baby arrives.

“We have the moms pump as often as a newborn baby would breast-feed,” explained Chele Marmet, one of two directors at the institute. “We don’t pull any punches; we let them know just how much work and dedication this is going to take.

“To really make it work, a mother has to come in with an attitude that she is going to breast-feed her baby, and will do whatever it takes to succeed,” Marmet said. “Lots of mothers call and come in for the consultation, and then we never hear from them again. It takes a special commitment to breast-feed an adoptive baby.”

The nonprofit Lactation Institute, established in 1979, specializes in helping mothers with breast-feeding problems and training lactation consultants. The staff of two directors and lactation consultants advises about 15 mothers a week. (About 67% of mothers in California leave the hospital breast-feeding, compared to about 52% nationally, according to a 1990 study provided by La Leche League.)

When a prospective adoptive mother calls the Lactation Institute, she is encouraged to come in for a two-hour consultation. Institute staff members take her fertility and medical history, talk about her reasons for adopting, work on the physical aspects of breast-feeding and describe the procedure for inducing lactation.

After the baby arrives, the mother continues to pump and use a supplementation device to make sure the infant gets enough milk. “We use the baby’s weight, how much the mother is pumping, how long the baby is at the breast, amount supplemented along with how both mom and baby are doing and our years of experience to determine the lactation progress,” Marmet said.

Adoptive mother Lani J. Rosenberger, who lives in the West Valley, knew she had broken into the true ranks of motherhood when she got a painful breast infection from nursing her 8-month-old son.

“I attended a breast-feeding support group, and when I told them about my breast infection everyone cheered. I bet I am one of the only moms to ever be excited about a breast infection,” she said.

Rosenberger, 46, has a biological son who is now 23 and an adopted son, Caleb, who was born in 1985. When her older son was 11, she and her husband decided to adopt after 10 years of trying to have another baby.

They decided on a private, open adoption, which is an adoption between two private parties that allows the adoptive parents and birth mother to know each other. Five adoptions fell through in the next five years, sometimes within weeks of the babies’ births. Through a friend, they found out about a pregnant mother in an unstable relationship who already had three children and wanted to put up her fourth for adoption.

Six weeks before Caleb was due, Rosenberger visited the Lactation Institute and started the recommended pumping regimen. “By the time he was born I could get a few drops of milk,” Rosenberger remembered.

Rosenberger said she learned about adoptive breast-feeding from books on natural childbirth and knew she wanted to breast-feed Caleb. “I knew what bonding was with my firstborn, and I didn’t have that time in pregnancy this time to start the process. I felt breast-feeding would help me bond more quickly and deeply. To me it was absolutely essential for bonding in the postpartum period.”

Rosenberger also wanted the birth mother to have the baby at home because she “wanted the instant bonding a home birth would allow, and I also knew I wanted to breast-feed my child and that some adoptive agencies frown on this,” Rosenberger said. (A spokesman for the Los Angeles County Department of Adoptions said there is no official policy on adoptive breast-feeding but it is not seen as a problem.)

Twelve hours after Caleb was born, Rosenberger brought him home and nursed him throughout infancy with the help of a supplementation device, a soft pouch full of milk worn around the mother’s neck. Milk is fed to the baby through two tubes taped to the end of the breast. Rosenberger supplemented with donated breast milk although formula can be used.

“I liked it very much as a supplementer because it had a soft body and wasn’t as much of a barrier between Caleb and me,” said Rosenberger, who is chairwoman of the certification committee for the California Assn. of Midwives.

“It was also a real pain in the wazoo. It had all the disadvantages of a bottle, plus 12 more. You had to haul this thing around, keep it cool, warm it up and trying to strap it on in public, what a joke,” Rosenberger said.

Gloria Ryland, 45, didn’t know she could breast-feed her first adoptive daughter, Denise, now 12. But before she adopted her second daughter, Michaela, two years later, she read a magazine article on induced lactation and sent for information.

Six weeks before Michaela was born, Ryland visited the Lactation Institute and started pumping. Her milk came in after about three months, but never completely, so she also used a supplementer filled with donated breast milk and then she breast-fed Michaela until she was 6 months old.

Ryland chose to breast-feed because she believes that it brings the mother and baby closer.

“Mom and baby have to spend more time together to nurse, no bottle propping can occur, and it slows the mother down and allows her to focus more on baby. There is a special physical closeness,” said Ryland, a therapist specializing in family and child counseling in private practice in Woodland Hills.

“Also in counseling adoptive parents, I have found that one of the unresolved guilt issues is the loss of pregnancy. I can sense from them that they grieve the loss. Breast-feeding an adopted child can be another significant step in the birthing and parenting process that an adoptive parent can participate in and benefit from,” she said.

Dr. Gil Solomon, a family physician in Canoga Park, said adoptive breast-feeding would be positive if the mother starts preparing beforehand and can maintain an adequate milk supply. “From an emotional, supportive and bonding point of view it would be great,” he said.

But choosing to breast-feed can make the father feel left out, Ryland warned. “With our first adoptive daughter my husband took all the nighttime feedings, and he was able to get very close to her. This is something he wasn’t able to experience as quickly with our second daughter. We must be very aware of incorporating the father into the feeding and bonding process.” When mothers breast-feed, fathers are encouraged to become involved in all aspects of the baby’s care except the feeding, including such activities as walking, playing, bathing and dressing the baby, according to La Leche League.

Ryland also said the pediatrician can make a difference. “My pediatrician said upon being told about my adoptive nursing plans, ‘How interesting. I have wanted to find out more about it, and now you can be my guinea pig.’ He shared my excitement while being balanced. He wouldn’t have made me feel guilty if it didn’t work.

“Most people were very supportive, but some were at best skeptical and at worst thought it was perverted, or that I was crazy to try it,” she said.

After seven years of trying to have a baby, Laurel Johnson of Ridgecrest adopted her first child, Mindy, when she was 4 1/2 months old and unsuccessfully tried to nurse her with the help of a supplementer. “She was a very busy baby and didn’t want to,” said Johnson, who learned about adoptive breast-feeding when she read that an Indian sect practices it.

Six weeks after bringing Mindy home, she became pregnant with Christina, who was born with Werdnig-Hoffman, a genetically inherited muscle disease that leaves its victims limp and can be fatal.

Johnson nursed Christina for 10 months “until she became sick with pneumonia and had to be hospitalized. After that she was too weak to nurse again,” Johnson said. Christina died five days before her first birthday.

“It was such a blessing to have her, as close to heaven as we had ever been,” said Johnson, who is now 42 and a full-time mother. After that, she added, “We knew we wanted more children and wanted to try again, but I never conceived, so we looked into adoption again.”

Four years later, Johnson and her husband adopted another baby girl, Michelle Deanne, who was born in March, 1991. Although they were given the baby immediately, Johnson was not allowed to breast-feed for 24 hours until the baby was officially released into their custody.

This time, Johnson wanted to make sure that the breast-feeding would work, so 10 days before Michelle was born, Johnson visited the Lactation Institute and started the routine that would make her breast milk come in, pumping every two hours around the clock. Within a month, she could get a little squirt of milk from her breasts each time she pumped.

“Chele thought because of my milk coming in so soon that it would only take a couple of months for her to be completely breast-fed with no supplementation. She was a sleepy slurper and nursed all night long,” Johnson said. Michelle became totally breast-fed at six months.

“I couldn’t have done it without my husband,” Johnson said. “For the first two months I had to devote 100% of my time to the baby, and he took care of the house, our older daughter and everything else. He was wonderful.”