In Prattle of Wits, Lovers Boo Trite Bits

The “eeeks” inherit the mirth and losers are gonged with the win in an annual show of wit to raise money for a (one more time) wordy cause.

The language is sure to take a beating today during the O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships, but that’s OK. Bad jokes are the order of the day. Nearly 2,000 spectators showed up last year.

They’ve groaned to love it.

“It’s jest for a wordy cause,” said a flyer from the O. Henry Museum in Austin. The contest raises money for the museum, in a cottage where author William Sydney Porter, better known as O. Henry, lived in the late 1800s.

Valerie Bennett, museum curator, said O. Henry displayed a keen sense of humor in his short stories and in “The Rolling Stone,” a newspaper he published while he lived in Austin.

The contest “started out in fun and just grew and grew and grew,” she said. Spectators spread blankets under trees on the museum’s lawn and are free to boo.

“It’s not a big money event. Our prize package for the winner is dinner for two and a movie ticket. People are there for the glory of it,” said former champion punster Gary Hallock, an organizer and co-master of ceremonies.

“Punsters have a hard time finding anyone to go out with, so when they get a chance to catch this little bit of respect that’s afforded them this one day a year--they come out of every nook and cranny,” Hallock said.

The contest, in its 15th year, is divided into two categories, limited to 32 entrants each.

In the first, Punniest of Show, competitors are given 90 seconds to present puns in any format they choose--stories, songs, stand-up routines.

In the second category, High Lies and Low Puns, competitors go head to head. A topic is selected at random and each contestant gets five seconds to make a pun related to it. The contest moves back and forth until one contestant takes too long and is gonged out.

A popular random topic is external body parts, where “the talk gets hairy,” Hallock said.

Might-have-been is an oft-used format, he said, offering rapid-fire examples:

Agriculture? “I might have married the farmer’s daughter but I couldn’t a tractor.”

Cooking? “I might have been a baker but I couldn’t raise the dough.”

Keys to competitive success, Hallock said, are a big vocabulary and quick thinking.

“Every word has a pun in it somewhere,” he said.