THE HUMAN CONDITION / OPTIMISTS & PESSIMISTS : The ever-hopeful ask, ‘What’s wrong with looking on the bright side?’ The ever-wary ask, ‘What’s wrong with being prepared?’ : Half Full, Half Empty
They walk on the sunny side of the street, never mind that the day’s brightness might be due to global warming.
They see life through rose-colored glasses.
And now that we’re out of the drought, they’re back to using their smiles as umbrellas.
And now, they even have their own Optimism Hotline. Call (310) 289-4180 and you get a dose of inspiration:
“Get this: Everyone agrees that an optimistic attitude is beneficial to your health, wealth and well-being. Not just poets and philosophers and dreamers, but doctors and therapists and educators and a lot of other very wise people,” says the recorded voice of Harvey Cohen, an author/lecturer who operates the hot line.
Even the ultimate grouch, after listening to Cohen’s reasoning, might kind of want to get out there and be happy. But in the 1990s, when news about the world seems to be more bad than good, is optimism that easy?
Yes, say doctors, therapists, educators and a lot of other very wise people. Actually, they say it more like: YES!!!!
They can also explain why some people are almost always cheerful, while others seem to remain in the dumps.
Optimism is a learned condition, says Penelope Russianoff, author of “When Am I Going to Be Happy?: Breaking the Emotional Bad Habits That Make You Miserable.”
Russianoff, like lots of other therapists--most of whom are optimists or they wouldn’t be therapists, would they?--says there is no such thing as being doomed to unhappiness.
“There’s definitely a genetic factor in clinical depression,” says Russianoff, a reformed pessimist. “But that usually responds to medication.”
It’s as simple as this: “Happiness,” says Russianoff, “is a learned condition.” Don’t let any Gloomy Gus to tell you otherwise.
Optimists also lack the negative mind-set that Paul Pearsall, author of “Super Joy: Learning to Celebrate Everyday Life,” calls the “Three Ps.”
“The first P is taking bad things that happen personally . The second P is pervasive : ‘I am stupid at everything I do.’ The third is permanent : ‘ . . . and it will always be that way.’ ”
Pearsall defines the true optimist as one who takes risks, living in the moment, rather than for the moment.
“There is a difference between the two,” he says. “Living for the moment is sort of narcissistic. Living in the moment is paying attention to what is going on.
“Optimists are not those smiling, happy people saying, ‘every day in every way I’m getting better and better’. That’s a lot of baloney. Part of optimism is crying (and) dancing in the gale of catastrophe.”
Debbie Lee, 37, an office administrator and optimist who works with a pessimist in Silicon Valley (see accompanying story), can attest to that. Lee, who describes herself as “a supreme optimist,” attributes her unflappable attitude to her mother.
She explains optimism not as blindly believing things will somehow get better, but feeling you can control your own life.
“I was in a bad marriage to an alcoholic for eight years,” she explains. “I kept thinking I could make it work. Ultimately I made the decision that I had to fulfill all the positive things I was thinking about myself, so I filed for divorce.”
Another cheerful one, Pam Roylance, 40, a Los Angeles actress “with a million part-time jobs,” says she got her optimism from her parents: “I don’t know if it’s genetic, or if you’re just raised with it from the time you are born.”
Roylance believes the key to happiness is understanding that there isn’t a key to happiness. “Sometimes you think you’re doing everything right, and you’re still not getting the breaks. I say, ‘That’s not mine to have, and I don’t think it’s worth getting down about.’ Your turn comes around again.”
Apparently, a little humor doesn’t hurt either.
“Do you ever wonder,” Roylance asks, “if there’s any difference between an optimist and a fool?”
Career Choices
Optimists become:
* Actors
* Presidential candidates
* Teachers
* Used car salesmen/women
* Venture capitalists
* Professional gamblers
* Weather forecasters
* Wedding coordinators
* Aerobics instructors
Pessimists become:
* Political pollsters
* Economists
* Bank loan officers
* Repo men/women
* IRS agents
* Studio heads
* Journalists
* Divorce lawyers
