Kindness of Strangers : Foster Parents, Children Share Tales of Giving

Renee Griffin, 36, was abandoned by her alcoholic mother when she was 7 and spent the rest of her childhood in a series of foster homes. Her son was placed in a foster home at birth because of Griffin’s cocaine use.

Now, thanks to her son’s foster mother, Griffin has broken the cycle that her mother began.

Griffin has overcome her drug problem, taken custody of her 3-year-old boy, Barrington, and is enrolling at a community college to become a nurse. She attributes her turnaround to Betty Bourland, a 50-year-old foster mother from the unincorporated Athens area, who cared for Barrington for more than a year and also took Griffin into her heart.

“She is like my daughter,” Bourland said Sunday afternoon as Griffin stood by, holding the child and grinning. The younger woman added: “I wanted to be with my kids. I wanted to show them that you can break the chain and climb the ladder.”

Griffin and Bourland were among hundreds of foster parents and children who gathered Sunday at Brookside Park in Pasadena for an annual picnic to celebrate the struggles of those who care for Los Angeles County’s foster children.

Babies with HIV or other severe medical problems, the children of drug addicts, and victims of neglect and abuse have found shelter and affection in the homes of strangers who participate in the program.

“I feel I can add something to their lives,” said foster mother Susie Ellis, 68, of Altadena, who has taken in 178 children in 10 years of foster motherhood. Of the five children now in Ellis’ care, two suffer from Tourette’s syndrome, a neurological disorder that can cause violent verbal outbursts and actions.

One of Ellis’ charges--who is white--uses racial epithets whenever he suffers a Tourette’s seizure. Nevertheless, the black grandmother--who has three children of her own--said: “I’m going to work with them as long as I can.”

Two years ago, the County Department of Children’s Services--which oversees foster care--was under fire from state officials, who said that children’s lives and safety were endangered in the county’s foster care program.

County officials, in conjunction with the state, began an overhaul of the agency to correct problems that included inadequate screening of foster parents, poor regulation of licensed foster homes, and shoddy investigative and oversight practices.

But most of the talk at the picnic was affirmation of the effort made by foster parents who often endure heartache as they care for some of society’s most troubled children.

“We had a girl whose mother was a chronic paranoid schizophrenic,” said one foster mother. “The child was a darling.”

The woman and her husband, who live in Lakewood, are in the process of adopting a child who was born addicted to heroin and cocaine.

“We’ve bonded with him,” the woman said of the 11-month-old boy.

Gordon Bohn and his wife, Carol, of Canoga Park, have taken in seven children since 1988.

The couple was devastated recently when they tried to adopt a 3-year-old HIV-positive girl they had cared for since she was a few days old.

At the last moment, the girl’s biological mother, who was suffering from AIDS, decided she wanted the child back, the Bohns said. The couple lost the child, who was later placed with a foster family in Santa Barbara when the mother checked into a hospice.

Gordon Bohn acknowledged that there have been problems with foster parents who have done “inappropriate things.” But he added that “there are a lot of us out there who do good.”