Rams Have Extra Time to Speculate

Thought for the day:

“I want to win MORE games. I want to get to the playoffs.”

--Darryl Henley, Ram cornerback

And some others . . .

You Can’t Always Get What You Want, True, but When Did Mick Jagger Ever Beat the Giants by 21 Points? The Rams?

In the playoffs?

In this season?

This is what happens after a team has been down so low for so long. After back-to-back seasons of 5-11 and 3-13, 3-4 starts to look like serious contention.

Three weeks ago, the Rams were angling for a top-five pick in the 1993 draft, presuming there will be a 1993 draft, and wondering if Marshall Faulk would be on the board. Since then, there have been three-point losses at San Francisco and New Orleans and last Sunday’s stop-the-season-in-its-tracks stunner--a 38-17 whomping of the New York Giants.

What does it all mean?

Where do the Rams go from here?

Given a bye week, there has never been a better time, or more time, for idle speculation.

The NFC will award three wild-card playoff berths this season, but realistically, the Rams have a shot at only one. Two wild cards are already rubber-stamped for the NFC East, to be awarded to the runners-up in the Dallas-Philadelphia-Washington scrum.

That leaves one berth for the taking--with New Orleans (5-2), Chicago (3-3), Tampa Bay (3-3) and the Rams doing the reaching.

The Rams need to catch the Saints, and to do that, they must beat the Saints in their Anaheim rematch (Dec. 13) and find at least five more victories on the schedule.

The next two games would appear to be winnable--at 2-5 Atlanta and against 1-5 Phoenix at home. After that, there are December dates against Tampa Bay, 2-4 Green Bay and Atlanta again.

Those are the five.

But between Phoenix and December, the Rams will play each of the three NFC division leaders in the succession--Dallas followed by San Francisco followed by Minnesota. In other words, Public Enemies Nos. 1, 2 and 3.

But remember: These are the young Rams, the new Rams. Very few of them, for example, can even recall what Dallas, San Francisco and Minnesota did to the Ram playoff drives of ‘69, ‘73, ‘74, ‘75, ‘76, ‘77, ‘78, ‘80, ’88 and ’89.

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And Now, a Discouraging Word From Our Sponsor:

This time last year, the Rams were 3-4 heading into the Atlanta game.

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Seven Reasons Why Americans Should Root for Canada to Win the World Series:

1. Atlanta. First, the tomahawk chop. Then, the Olympic mascot. Then, hanging the Canadian flag upside down. How dumb can a city be?

2. The Braves. They moved from Boston to Milwaukee to Atlanta. How dumb can a franchise be?

3. The purists and the poets. “Baseball, that most pristine, most sumptuous, most American of all sporting games, awarded its highest honor this autumn to . . . the team representing the capital of the province of Ontario . . . which has enjoyed a rich, illustrious history dating back to 1977 . . . and plays its home games on synthetic grass . . . and inside an abandoned space-shuttle hangar the natives refer to as ‘SkyDome’ . . . where patrons thrill at the spectacle of the retractable roof, peer through binoculars at the hotel beds beyond the center-field fence and swoon over the timeless aroma of ballpark Big Macs and foaming beakers of Labatt’s Blue.”

4. Cito Gaston. He seems like a nice enough guy. He ought to be able to keep a job.

5. Kelly Gruber’s derisive, mocking tomahawk chop after catching the pop-up that ended Game 2. The play of this baseball season, as far as I’m concerned.

6. Canada gave us Neil Young.

7. Atlanta gave us Deion Sanders.

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We Pause for a Moment to Ponder the Essence of Atlanta’s Existence in This World Series:

Francisco Cabrera.

It can never happen again in our lifetimes.

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The Angels Are Toying With the Idea of Trading Jim Abbott for a First Baseman and an Outfielder. If They Do, the First Baseman and the Outfielder Had Better Be:

1. Kent Hrbek and Kirby Puckett.

2. Fred McGriff and Tony Gwynn.

3. Frank Thomas and Tim Raines.

4. Rafael Palmeiro and Juan Gonzalez.

5. Willie McCovey and Willie Mays.

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Headlines Guaranteed to Happen, Post-Abbott Trade:

1993: Abbott Becomes Major Leagues’ First 20-Game Winner.

1994: Abbott’s One-Hitter Completes World Series Sweep.

1998: Abbott Wins Third Cy Young Award.

2001: Angels Observe 40th Anniversary, Still Searching for First Pennant.

2004: Angels Retire Abbott’s Uniform Number; Abbott, Honored but Perplexed, Says, ‘But I Haven’t Retired Yet.’

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Most Bummed Major League Player at the Moment:

Greg Myers.

Going from the Blue Jays to the Angels in July was bad enough. But consider the job description on his business card:

“Backup Catcher.”

Francisco Cabrera. Damon Berryhill. Ed Sprague.

For career advancement in this baseball postseason, backup catcher is the only place to be.